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Ode to young

Poem By: Maple Bowen
Poetry


When I was young... View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jul 5, 2008    Reads: 57    Comments: 15    Likes: 6   


When I was young
My mother
Held me when I
Was there
My father
Was never there.
I miss you.
Do you notice?
Does anyone care?
We weren’t raised to see life as fun.
No one cares.


6

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Comments:

So sad. I see shades of grey in it. I have those days. And I too have had that life (parts of it at least.) Funny how when we bare ourselves, we realize we all carry many of the same burdens.
Theresa

Posted: Jul 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks for your comment, and I'm glad that my poetry could relate to someone. It is funny; sometimes it's hard to realize that others are experiencing what we are experiencing, but it takes a while to figure it out. I appreciate your comment and thanks for being a fan! It means a lot to me! =)
~Maple

Very Good But Also Sad In A Way. I Enjoyed It.

Posted: Jul 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you, again! I know what you mean, a rather depressing poem that just relates to me in my life. Thanks for commenting and being a fan! =)
~Maple

Is this true to your childhood? Shhh...secret tunnels.

Posted: Jul 11, 2008

Author Comment:

HAHAHAHA! Oatmeal, you are hilarious. Not true to my childhood exactly, but it kind of relates to me in my life. Not from my perspective, from another person's perspective.

wow, rather sad, but very nice. I like the penultimate line particularly, probably because it stands out :)

Posted: Jul 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks! Very much appreciated a comment! =)
~Maple

hi! maple. u miss the things u were not given. this poem shows u appreciate their value. and u'll cherish them when u've them. lol. ;-)

Posted: Jul 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Ah, thanks! =)
~Maple

Our childhood always remains a shadow. It follows us through time.

Sad but beautiful. ^^

Posted: Jul 25, 2008

Author Comment:

You're absolutely right about our childhood. Thanks for your comment, and be such a great fan of mine! =)
~Maple

Hey Maple :)

It takes a very secure and brave person to share these feelings. For that alone, I applaud. Then there's the poem. It is wonderful and honest. Well-written and extremely relevant. Amazing as always! Regan

Posted: Jul 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks such a nice compliment, i'm flattered! =)

liked it, it was short and really captured emotion

Posted: Jul 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, I tend to write short pieces, well I try anyways! =)
~Maple

aah! ok so when I finished reading this, my eyes stung, you are very talented very very very! I've read other poems by you and well, you write from the heart! Please my dear, find the time to read my work! I'd love to know what you think!

Posted: Jul 27, 2008

Author Comment:

I try to write from deep in the heart, and I'm glad someone appreciated my poetry! Thanks! =)
~Maple

Very sad poem. I feel so bad for you. The poem is really good. You did a great job on it. I wish you all the strength and good luck on the future for you. Excellent job. :)

Posted: Jul 29, 2008

Author Comment:

Well thanks! But just because I wrote this poem doesn't mean I experienced it, I'm the kind of person that writes from second hand experiences. Thanks any ways though! =)

Not bad, I would've liked more detail in your sentences and perhaps more imagery? It seems a tad simple for my liking. Maybe that's just me......anyway keep writing.

Posted: Aug 3, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks! I'm glad to get some criticism, because no one on here seems to give it! I will try in my next poem to be more complex, and have a variety of images, and I will definitely make the sentences longer. Thanks again!

this is true. and i like the blankness in it. i've def. been there before. great work. i look forward to reading more.

Posted: Aug 4, 2008

Author Comment:

thanks! =)

i read your profile and expected something as sarcastic as i am .
i was very surprised to read this , you took something like a terrible memory and made something sad but beautiful from it .
you are indeed a rare talent .
terry

Posted: Aug 5, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you so much, boosting my confidence will help me continue to write. =)

Great poem! But very sad, as others have said.
You are a good writer though.

Posted: Aug 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thank you, it makes me have a boost of confidence in my writing when I hear that what I write is worth reading! =)

This struck a chord. very good work.

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, glad you enjoyed =)



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Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, War, Hate, Horror, God, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Depression, Fiction, Heart, Friendship, Family.

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