When I was young
My mother
Held me when I
Was there
My father
Was never there.
I miss you.
Do you notice?
Does anyone care?
We weren’t raised to see life as fun.
No one cares.
Publish. Read. Get Read.
Random First Lines: A slap in the face,A broken wishI never thought you could hurt me like thisWhy would you breakWhat was given to... : Poetry » Read
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Ode to young
Poem By: Maple Bowen
Poetry
When I was young... View table of contents...
Submitted: Jul 5, 2008 Reads: 57 Comments: 15 Likes: 6
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Comments:
So sad. I see shades of grey in it. I have those days. And I too have had that life (parts of it at least.) Funny how when we bare ourselves, we realize we all carry many of the same burdens.
Theresa
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
Very Good But Also Sad In A Way. I Enjoyed It.
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
Is this true to your childhood? Shhh...secret tunnels.
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
wow, rather sad, but very nice. I like the penultimate line particularly, probably because it stands out :)
Posted: Jul 22, 2008
hi! maple. u miss the things u were not given. this poem shows u appreciate their value. and u'll cherish them when u've them. lol. ;-)
Posted: Jul 23, 2008
Our childhood always remains a shadow. It follows us through time.
Sad but beautiful. ^^
Posted: Jul 25, 2008
Hey Maple :)
It takes a very secure and brave person to share these feelings. For that alone, I applaud. Then there's the poem. It is wonderful and honest. Well-written and extremely relevant. Amazing as always! Regan
Posted: Jul 26, 2008
liked it, it was short and really captured emotion
Posted: Jul 26, 2008
aah! ok so when I finished reading this, my eyes stung, you are very talented very very very! I've read other poems by you and well, you write from the heart! Please my dear, find the time to read my work! I'd love to know what you think!
Posted: Jul 27, 2008
Very sad poem. I feel so bad for you. The poem is really good. You did a great job on it. I wish you all the strength and good luck on the future for you. Excellent job. :)
Posted: Jul 29, 2008
Not bad, I would've liked more detail in your sentences and perhaps more imagery? It seems a tad simple for my liking. Maybe that's just me......anyway keep writing.
Posted: Aug 3, 2008
this is true. and i like the blankness in it. i've def. been there before. great work. i look forward to reading more.
Posted: Aug 4, 2008
i read your profile and expected something as sarcastic as i am .
i was very surprised to read this , you took something like a terrible memory and made something sad but beautiful from it .
you are indeed a rare talent .
terry
Posted: Aug 5, 2008
Great poem! But very sad, as others have said.
You are a good writer though.
Posted: Aug 9, 2008
This struck a chord. very good work.
Posted: Aug 13, 2008
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Tags
Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, War, Hate, Horror, God, Humor, Hurt, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Depression, Fiction, Heart, Friendship, Family.