Top of a cake,
Whipped and creamy to go
With a shake.
Icicles glisten like a
Tear on a cheek,
Slipping sliding
On the ledge of a peak.
Children whisper all
Around,
Waiting for moisture to
Appear on the ground.
Publish. Read. Get Read.
Random First Lines: So Long, My Angel!!I loved to watch how he unfolded his glasses and pushed them back gracefully on his shiny... : Fantasy » Read
Welcome Visitor: 
When winter comes around
Poem By: Maple Bowen
Poetry
A poem based on winter... the anticipation of it coming again. View table of contents...
Submitted: Jun 18, 2008 Reads: 74 Comments: 15 Likes: 9
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Comments:
Hello Maple Bowen :)
Nice poem here. I like your descriptive techniques. Plus the rhyme scheme is unique. Great job!
Regan
Posted: Jun 18, 2008
Thanks!
Posted: Jun 18, 2008
You used good imagery in this. Really good :]
Posted: Jun 18, 2008
Good poem! I really liked it!!!
Posted: Jun 18, 2008
That's very good.
It's hard to create a rhyming and descriptive poem, but you did it very well. =]
Posted: Jun 19, 2008
Thanks for the warm welcome to booksie earlier.
I really like the poem here, the metaphor of snow to frosting is an interesting touch and you maintain good structure throughout.
You show promise for a young writer, keep at it.
Posted: Jun 20, 2008
I Liked This One Too. It's Beautiful In The Winter With All The Snow. Great Job.
Posted: Jul 11, 2008
Very good rhyme scheme.
Posted: Jul 14, 2008
Being as I started of with a wintery story myself I had to look at this one first :)
Loved the last verse, you seem to have realised children perfectly, wishing for all that snow and yet happier than ever once the snow melts again. At least thats how I read it.
Nice to see a simple poem that does what its meant to, bravo!
Posted: Jul 26, 2008
Nice imagery. I enjoyed it. Although now I want cake. lol.
Posted: Aug 16, 2008
Good descriptive imagery, nice poem.
Posted: Aug 19, 2008
i like it ^^ good imagery!!
Posted: Aug 20, 2008
i really liked it, even though i prefer summer to winter. the main thing about winter i like is Christmas, lol.
Posted: Aug 29, 2008
Icicles... like a Tear on a Cheek... Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
Posted: Sep 6, 2008
That was really good! I love the imagery.
I, too, am craving some cake now.
^_^
Posted: Sep 18, 2008
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