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As the storm birds gather

Poem By: matthew smith
Poetry


Well i know its really late but this is my attempt at Seesawmae's challenge View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Jun 9, 2008    Reads: 55    Comments: 9    Likes: 6   


As the storm birds gather over land
                                            over sea,
a lone gull circles in the brooding sky.
Its cry is lost to the calling of the wind;
and in the distance the harbour lights,
once welcoming sink into that bitter land
                                                 bitter sea,
and sink into the storm for me.
 
Tonight the storm is fierce and the sea
is devastating. The air is left desolate
by the storm; that any thing could survive
is left to chance. Far away a cry is
heard in the hearts of the innocent.
Love in its evergreen shade falls victim
to the raging tempests might, and its star
is blown out of the sky.
 
Upon the shore the silver mist clings
to the image of love. Battered by the
envious storm, yet still in silent
vigil they stand, two lovers alone
against the madness; they stand and watch
with pity etched on each face; until with
timeless ease they turn, swallowed by the evening
shade, and walk into the night.
 
As the storm birds gather over land
                                         over sea,
and a lone gull battles against the wind.
The storm now falls upon that troubled mind,
casting Autumn leaves like falling rain.
Another victim of that bitter land
                                     bitter sea,
another victim of its cruel spite. 
 
 


6

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Comments:

O.O

.... wow! that was... you have me speechless! my goodness, this poem was amazing matthew! the imagery was fabulous and just overall it was a breathtaking read! i absolutely loved it!
ha i feel like i have commenter's block :S
i just don't know what else to say... like i said, i'm speechless! at a loss for words b/c this was brilliant!
fantastic writing matt!
keep it up :)

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx Alice, u'r comments are lovely as always!

Matt this is amazing! The imagery is so complex and beautiful that I can hear the wind blowing and the sea gull crying faintly, the wind is whipping my hair, and stinging rain is pelting my arms. Its really rich with detail! I love the two lovers bound together against the elements and against raging emotions beating at them. I also like when poems go full circle and end where they began.

This one was worth the wait. You do extraordinary work that always leaves me inspired. Thanks for sharing it with us Matt!

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx Sisi, i'm so glad u like it, and can feel the images of the poem. Well i inspire u, and u inspire me! What a wonderful world we live in!

Oh hello seduction.
Shall I shoot my metaphor dice and see if I roll em high?

Here I go.
Land And Sea. Two opposites. Two ladies. Two lovahs (lovers in peach language)(try it "lovah"). The narrator looks to which one is most homey for him....he cries out to both and wonders which one will fight the good fight with him? (sink into the storm for me)(BEAUTIFUL LINE btw).

The 2nd stanza compares the two and their personified reactions to the gulls cry for home. The sea cuddles in. The gull looks over his shoulder (so to speak) while going to the sea and observes the land. Feeling guilt (Love in its evergreen shade falls victim) to both, but to neither.

Am I driving you insane yet? Sorry! But this is how I read poetry, not just yours, but yours especially!

3rd stanza: The personified sea is searching. (clings to the image of love)(image???). Now, get your scuba gear on because I am about to go deep. What happend to the personified land? The land provided a base for the lovers to grow from. Without the sea, there would be no land, without the land, there would be no sea.

BUT lookout. The last stanza shows the pain of having neither. Poor Gull.

Of course, I'm way off base. Just wanted to give you a clip of how I read other poetry.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

I love the way u read poetry peachy, similar to me I think, tho the writer as there own reasons for choosing images ect…we are able to take out of the poem what they mean to us. Your interpretation of the poem is brilliant and I’m glad you could take so much from it. For me the storm is always a portrayal of human emotions; yes love in this poem but also jealousy. Bitter land, bitter sea; well the land is an image of security ie the harbour lights, but in this instance even that security is false. This is where jealousy comes into play and the image of the gull is left victim to this emotion. That’s why the innocence of love also falls victim to this spite. So love is battered by such emotions but if its true it can still find away to survive. But what happens to our poor gull? Is he left to the fate of the storm; will he survive? Or is he another victim of the spite of human emotion?

oh ps -
LOVED it!
My fav of yours now.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Author Comment:

thanx peachy

hmmmmm ^_^ I am going to give this interpretation a try; ^_^

the first stanza to me sounds like depression (sinking) 'a lone gull circles in the brooding sky, it's cry is lost to the wind' bitterness and sinking.
second stanza:
left desolate and bearily able to survive (suisidal thoughts)? as depression has sunk to it's all time low,
But then; 'a cry is heard' and the star I see as representing an epiphany of light.
third:
now battered but silent he see's himself not alone,
he looks upon what was and pity's it. The night gathers him up in it's calm aftermath.
fourth:
the next time storm (depression) gathers now he is willing to battle it (against the wind) so this time along with the depression is autumn leaves and rain to heal and cleanse. the man still feels victim but is fighting now.

oh, I don't know, probably SOOOOOOOO way off, but hey it was fun, I much enjoy this guys ^_^
take care Matthew, until we meet again........:)

Posted: Jun 10, 2008

Author Comment:

hey thanx for a wonderful comment. Poetry is all about taking a meaning for yourself, so in that respect you can never be wrong about an interpretation. For me the poem is about love and jealousy. For me storms always represent human emotions, and in this piece there is a conflict between an innocent love and jealousy. I must admit that I never had any thoughts o suicide, but I like your interpretation. Thanx again for your wonderful comments

I'm so captivated by the beauty of the words that I do not want to interpret the hidden meaning behind it. The sensory experience is enough this time. And oh, your style reminds me of Matthew Arnold!

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

Wow, thanx so much, your comments are wonderful. I like Arnold, there's so many wonderful poets out there. so glad u liked my little piece!!

OK! nice. i loved this one:)
Love in its evergreen shade falls victim
to the raging tempests might, and its star
is blown out of the sky.

you see that line, was simply amazing. i love the thought of stars been blown out of the sky... nice.
1 up from me.
all the best...lexie

Posted: Jun 11, 2008

Author Comment:

hey thanx, so glad u liked it. love hearing from u!!
that's one of my fav lines too
take care

as the storm birds gather.
i am in love with that..

Posted: Jun 12, 2008

Author Comment:

hey thank you so much

sorry for taking so long to comment! This is so amazing! it's brilliant and i love it soooo much! a great interpretation of the picture! great work!!! :)

Posted: Jul 1, 2008

Author Comment:

thanx, and thanx for a great challenge



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