By a lonely river the moonlight shines

By a lonely river the moonlight shines,

as your image fades far into the west,

by a swinging gate a church bell chimes,

and running feet disturb the peaceful rest.

Down by the old oak tree a sigh is heard,

and someone’s scratched their love upon the tree,

A street lamp shines its light upon a word,

caressed from the secret language of the sea.

An old crumbling bridge across the water,

the mystery of stars and milky way,

can not explain the unseen force which brought her,

or the spectral hand which sweeps her form away.

But in the breeze a note is tossed about,

an argument of loves lingering doubt.

Comments:

air

Ohhhhhhhhh, wow, ok the line that says: 'the spectral hand that sweeps her form away' wow, it brought the whole thing into perspective for me. well on my own level anyway lolol,,
through out the poem it sounded as if there was always someone jsut out of reach or someone loosing someone, and then that line about forms, forms never last they are not concrete and forever, although the secrets 'shines its light upon a word' 'the mystery of stars in the milkyway' the chimes and the swinging gate, oh,,,I forgot 'the image that fades' that's another line about forms and how don't last....so to me its like teh universe is giving signals of what is real among all the losses of shapes and forms.
ok, ok, I'm not sure i am expressing correctly, but the poem is awesome, really really awesome....
so there lol ^_^

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Hello, thanx so much for reading, glad you liked the poem. Oh, your pretty spot on with the analysis. Yes there is someone just out of reach and thats the image i was aiming at so im so glad you could see it. Yes forms are not concrete and they tend to fade. Oh this is such a theme in poetry dont you think. Shakespeare wrote about it and every poet since as. Love is seen as this form, always changing and never constant. I wantg my image of love to be permanent but reality suggests that it won't/can't. The image of love in the poem came into my life so unexpected that even the stars and the universe can't explain it. It's as though it shouldn't have happened but it did, and there's no escaping the emotion once it gets under your skin.
Thank you again for reading!!!

Classy Peach

I love sonnets if only for the amazing "But" line. Wash me in your river BUT! Damn buts. Buts always have to happen.

Watch how I changed this:
Down by the old oak tree a sigh is heard,
and someone’s scratched their love upon the BARK,
A street lamp shines its light upon HER SWORD,
caressed from the secret language of the DARK.

An old crumbling bridge across the SKY.

I love playing with poetry. I know you don't mind when I scratch at yours. His feet are tied to earth BUT he wants to jump cloud to cloud. He wants to watch her from up high (like maybe on aforementioned bridge) for a while before making a delicate fall back to earth. To meet. He's been bruised emotionally and stands at a pace before it happens all over again.

Matt, you're fun.

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Author Comment:

Yes buts always have to happen, in sonnets, in life, in love. I have a love hate relasionship with but!!
Oh, peachy you know i love your comments, you can scratch at my poems any time you like. Indeed i want to jump from cloud to cloud!
Oh give me a horse with wings. Shakespeare also wrote this

When I have seen by Time's fell hand defaced
The rich proud cost of outworn buried age;
When sometime lofty towers I see down-razed
And brass eternal slave to mortal rage;
When I have seen the hungry ocean gain
Advantage on the kingdom of the shore,
And the firm soil win of the watery main,
Increasing store with loss and loss with store;
When I have seen such interchange of state,
Or state itself confounded to decay;
Ruin hath taught me thus to ruminate,
That Time will come and take my love away.
This thought is as a death, which cannot choose
But weep to have that which it fears to lose.

These lines sum up what i really want to say. Dont you just love shakespeares sonnets, there so romantic, so full of experience. You know peachy i might just be in love with the idea of being in love! Oh, i wish i could have her tho!!!

Alice Oiseau

oh this is great matt!
i absolutely adored these lines:

the mystery of stars and milky way,
can not explain the unseen force which brought her,
or the spectral hand which sweeps her form away.

its so sad :( but i love the way you wrote it. very beautiful. she was so lovely that not even the stars could explain why she had come - and why she was swept away.
"sweeps her form away" - a very poetic way to describe the loss.

this is very beautiful and the imagery was fanastic :)

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh thank you Alice. i love what you wrote "she is so lovely that not even the stars can explain why she as come" The just sums up everything in my heart!!!
I lve the last stanza too, i have a feeling you know something about love/desire/longing and distance. Well thats the theme of the sonnet. Thanx for reading

raindown

'and someone's scratched their love upon a tree'

Oh matthew brilliant, I absolutely love this line...night time magic here matthew; I will read it again, to see what hidden meaning I can decifer;)

I just finished watching Romeo and Juliet, the modern version with Leo as Romeo; I love Shakespeare, this was a perfect follow up on the mood...

One of my favorites so far (I still love the castle story) go matthew;)

~rain

Posted: Jul 18, 2008

Author Comment:

ha, thanx so much, so glad you liked it. I love shakespeare and that film. Thanx for dropping by as always!!

ReganFinch

Hey matthew :)

Not many people can pull of an ABAB rhyme scheme, or let alone, a ABABCC. But you did and you didn't even flinch. The flow is perfect and the rhyme doesn't seem forced. On top of all of that, you have beautiful wording, word choice and message. Perfection man. Make sure and let me know when you write something new!

Regan

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Author Comment:

Hey thanx, so glad the poem works and reads well. One always wonders with rhyming poetry. Thanx for stopping by and reading

Urja

Hi Matthew, I like the way many of your poems describe the effect of night on water and light and air. It seems to give a finality to the feeling of loss - there is no question of denial or anger, just a deep realization that one must henceforth walk alone and unenchanted. The image fading far into the west gives a sense of inevitability to the loss. I found the last two lines rather cryptic - did she leave (or, oh God, kill herself) because she doubted his love for her?

Posted: Jul 26, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanx for your lovely comments. Yeah, i love images of moonlight, especially on water.
No, there is no feelings of denial or anger, only feelings of love.
Yes there is a feeling of distance and loss, fears which trouble my mind.
No she did not leave, nor did she kill herself. Though distance keeps us apart.
Thank you for stopping by and reading my poetry!

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