Random First Lines: The following morning, Will woke up to remembering his nighttime relaxtion mood. He always either turned the tv... : Horror » Read

Welcome Visitor: Login to the siteJoin the site

There is a boat

Poem By: matthew smith
Poetry


Oh, this is just a little love poem View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Aug 3, 2008    Reads: 66    Comments: 9    Likes: 9   


There is a boat upon the water
it gently rocks upon the swell,
a special boat because it brought her
to the safety of my heart,
though there is none that I can tell,
of the pain when love departs.
 
I stand upon the waters edge
skimming stones across the surface,
feeling that I broke my pledge
to shield her from life’s constant grief,
though in my arms her heart I place,
in hope it may find some relief.
 
As I stand and watch the ocean,
I watch the tears fall from the sky,
and in a fit of pure devotion
I cast myself into the sea,
and there I lay till all is dry,
and the water turns to sand with me.
 
There is a boat; oh lovely boat
that sails the rivers of our hearts,
through stormy skies it stays afloat
and drifts into the long goodnight,
I love you dear, and when day parts
we’ll sail beneath the moonlight bright.


9

Email this story Email this story | Print Story Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

WHOA, its beautiful Matthew, simply beautiful!
it is very captivating,,
sorry I don't have a fluent amount of words this evening to express how this poem effected me.
I really love it
~katie

Posted: Aug 3, 2008

Author Comment:

thanx katie, your comments are always lovely. Glad you liked the poem

I agree with Katie, matthew. This is a lovely and well-done poem. Your mastery over the rhyme scheme is what jumped out to me. This is beautiful and your poetry just keeps getting better and better! Take care, Regan

Posted: Aug 3, 2008

Author Comment:

thank you, your one of the few who comments on the structure of my poems, thanx for that, its always important. glad you liked it

Beautiful imagery Matt. Simply beautiful. My eyes watered with emotion with the first and third stanzas, so true to life.

Navigating our lives to incorporate a love. Begging the universe. Throwing ourselves at its mercy and longing for just a sweet chance with victory.

Awww Matt.

Posted: Aug 3, 2008

Author Comment:

hey thanx peachy, i always love your comments, they are always beautiful and so, so true. Thanx for stopping by

awwwww! this is sooo beautiful! it was one giant and lovely metaphor :D very nicely done matt ^^ goodness i'm at a loss for words XD hahaha this is wonderful! i love your poetry! you never fail to impress ^^
spectacular :)

Posted: Aug 4, 2008

Author Comment:

Ah, thanx Alice, as always your comments are lovely. Yes one big metaphor indeed, thank you for being so kind about my little pieces

Matthew, it is amazing how you manage to combine the gentle and the intense! Most of the time if a piece is gentle, it is also bland; if it is intense, it is tiringly all-consuming. Your poetry, on the other hand maintains a fine balance, keeping the reader enthralled with the intensity, at the same time giving a sense of calm and beauty by the gentle undertones. In this poem, you have used quite an unusual style of rhyming, which works perfectly. The third stanza is my favorite - I love the imagery there, and the rhyming of ocean with devotion, and the idea of 'water turning into sand with me'. I also like the use of the word 'cast' there - if I was writing this poem (not that I ever could), I would probably have written 'fling' or some such violent term, whereas 'cast' sounds so much more poetic. It is also interesting how the boat is a metaphor for life in the first stanza and of love in the last (or at least that's how I perceive it). The last two lines, in a classic Matthewesque fashion, departs from the usual theme of night parting to give way to daylight - you, instead, invoke the tranquility of the moonlight after the harshness of a day.

Posted: Aug 6, 2008

Author Comment:

wow, thank you Urja for such a wonderful comment. Ha, i have such a warm glow inside right now because you have treated my poem with such lovingkindness. I was just struggling with another poem and about it give in when a message flashed across my screen, and now you have inspired me to struggle on. Wow, it is so nice to say my poem as a good balance and sense of calm. Ha, i feel little of that calm when trying to write, but i'm happy the end product feels that way. Yes i do try to mix up the rhymes a bit, i like to play around with them and see if things work, i'm so glad this seems to work fine. I wanted a gentle, calm feeling because i wanted my little boat NOT to be battered by the seas or storms. It is a metaphor for life and love, and i would rather both be clam and gentle. Ah, life brings love, and love brings life, or at least this is how things should be. I'm also glad you liked the line you pointed out, i wanted to give a sense of time in the poem, to portray love as both a endless encounter no matter how brief, and also a little idea i have that one may wait many, many lifetimes of their true love. That you so much for your beautiful comment.
My little boat can bring true love, i hope though it doesn't take it away.

A "wonder-full" little love poem you have written, Matthew. Full of lilting rhymes and vivid imagery as I watched the boat 'gently rock upon the swell'.

Your writing has an easy naturalness to it that allows the reader to feel what you must be feeling through your words.

Peace.....Jerry



Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

hey thank you so much. it's always nice to hear from someone who loves poetry. thank you again, and i will be over to check out your work as soon as i can

"Oh, this is just a little love poem" indeed!!
Urja's comment says what many of us felt when we read it (but didn't quite know how to explain it!) Lilting, loving, beautifully descriptive - memorable. How I would love a man to write such a love poem for me.

Posted: Aug 13, 2008

Author Comment:

ah, thank you so much Anna. your comments always make me so happy and encourage me to carry on writing. Yes Urja's comment was so lovely. thank you again so much

a special boat because it brought her
to the safety of my heart,
As I stand and watch the ocean,
I watch the tears fall from the sky,
There is a boat; oh lovely boat
that sails the rivers of our hearts,
through stormy skies it stays afloat
and drifts into the long goodnight,
I love you dear, and when day parts
we’ll sail beneath the moonlight bright.


AMEN !! AND U KNOW WHAT - EVEN GOD makes way for those who SEEK LOVE with truth and truth and truth and truth.....and you r the chosen one , sweetheart....
respond to the vibe and love...

the boat of trust , love, truth, honesty should never you on the shore...u have to board it and go away from this world with your LOVE....Got it??

Posted: Aug 27, 2008

Author Comment:

ha, yes i get what you say, and thanx for such lovely advice

wow! it's amazingly beautiful! You have such an amazing way with words!

Posted: Sep 20, 2008

Author Comment:

hey thanxso much. it was inspired by a beautiful woman



Add Your Comments:

Your Name:

Spam protection control::

© Copyright 2008 matthew smith All rights reserved. matthew smith has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.

About | News | Contact | Your Account | TheNextBigWriter | Advertise

© 2008 TheNextBigWriter, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy Policy.