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Has not happened

Poetry By: MichaelS76

Submitted:May 5, 2015    Reads: 10    Comments: 3    Likes: 1   

It was December and I was out of work.

I walked quickly to the hospital; I was late for my interview.

It was cold and I was alone again. Strange city, strange to have no friends

and worse, I was broke. As the snow melted that fell upon

my face I dreamt of success.

I would be the best; I would make my parents proud,

I would be someone important, I would make a difference.

I would be happy.

It hasn't happened yet

Some people smile, some wave hands,

others node their heads in my direction,

yet I don't see them.

There is a veil over my eyes.

My mind is elsewhere, I am scared again.

Unanswered questions, unanswered prayers

a fear of failure, fear of saying the wrong thing,

fear of people, fear of life.

Everything will be alright, right?

It hasn't happened yet

Every night I lie awake and wait for that feeling of contentment,

that warm sense of ease you feel when things are as they should be.

Awake looking through eyes wide open, I dream of what I could have done, should have done,

would have done differently, if only I had known.

I need peace, I need serenity, I need to know myself.

What is my purpose, where is my place in this world, who am I,

how do I succeed? I have to know.

It hasn't happened yet

Scared no more, I have got to get it together.

When do I feel I haven't failed? When do I feel I have succeeded?

That I have made a difference. Free of fear, free of guilt.

Free to be me, ah peace at last.

It hasn't happened… yet


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