My mind is my only company

It entertains me with thoughts of what could have been

With what could have been said

With what could have been done

My thought gets so close, but is yet so far

It plays mind tricks on me

I am confused and my guard is up

I am insecure

It gets too close to the truth

My fear overwhelms me

Sometimes it is a confirmation

That I will never have

That I will never love

All I do is yearn for impossibility

It angers, saddens, depresses me

My thought, in the end, gets me no where

I want to succumb myself to it

Give myself to it

But it does not respond

I can wait no longer

Yearning has a toll on me

It hurts

It angers me beyond belief

That my thought knows my emotions

And plays with them immensely

Uses them to its advantage

It knows how to depress me

It knows how to bring me laughter

It makes me utterly flawed

I want to give up

But my thought feeds me

I cling to it

Hoping that it will finally give to me

My heart’s desire

I want it to consume me

Like it has so many times

But all I can do is hope

Which only leads me to falsity

I am to conclude to go on

In solitude

With the company of my mind

I will convince myself

And only then

Will it really be too late for my thought to apologize