Christmas Party for Both Houses of Congress!
"Hello, John, fancy meeting you here, or anywhere!"
"Blow it out your a**, Harry! When I heard you senate
Bastards were going to be here, I almost didn't come."
"Yeah, unless you Tea Party a**-kissers
Get to plan everything exactly the way you want,
You pout like the little children you are,
Take your toys, and go home, leaving the country
To take it in the shorts; you're a disgrace to government!"
"Harry, why don't we put aside our disagreements,
And you can open the gift I got for you?"
"Gift? Oh John, I didn't get you anything!"
"Oh, that doesn't matter; it's the giving, not the receiving,
And you guys seem to know all about giving; as in!
Here you are." "Well, thank you John, but you really
Shouldn't have. Let me see, a hand gun?"
"Yeah, our arms where getting tired holding one to your heads,
So I thought why not get you guys one of your own?
Though, maybe I should have returned it and got you
That chia-pet Grover Nordquist instead;
All you do is water him, and tax breaks grow out of his head!"
"Oh, John, you shouldn't have; you know, it's not
Too late for me to run to the Brain Store,
And buy you a gift of one; you know, since you don't
Seem to have one of your own,
Or you aren't sure how to use it!"
"Why, you bastard! Come here; I'll beat you senseless!"
"Now boys; break it up!"
"Mr. President; I figured you'd be in Hawaii."
"Well, I decided to cut my vacation short; someone
Has to keep you two separated! I heard that
At dinner, you two were flicking spoons of peas
At each other; real mature!"
"But John started it! I wouldn't have done it,
If he hadn't done it first!"
"Now boys, I order you to compromise; this must end!"
"What makes you think we Republicans ever listen
To anything you say? "Phfft"; Harry, stop throwing mashed potatoes!"
"Why should I stop? These dirty plates are still here, and you bastards wouldn't know
Compromise if it did tricks, and said, "Look at me, I'm compromise!"
"Well, I give up trying to babysit you two 3 year olds;
I may as well go back to the White House and get
Something done; but then neither of you understand the term!"