Deco, God of Interior Decorating

Deco, God of Interior

Decoration

"Let me introduce myself: My name is Deco,

God of Interior Decoration, and I’ve been sent heco—

err—here to keep you from thinking a bean-bag

chair and a big-screen T.V. is all you need. Please, don’t make me gag

You freaks don’t have a fricking clue

Once you leave mommy and daddy, you

take whatever b**t-ugly dregs your parents don’t want

It looks like s**t, but you keep on changing, undaunt-

ed, hoping it will suddenly look “cool”

Get real, you fricking fools!

S**t rearranged is still s**t!

That’s why I’m here, to see you at least have a bit

of a clue. Damn! Would you look at this place?

You two clowns need to be slapped, right in the face

It looks like a second-hand value store blew

chucks in here. This place needs some serious Deco help. You

two morons will do exactly as I say

First things first, lose the old wire spool. What, did you play

poker on it? Second, take down those tacky super-

model posters, unless they’re covering holes in-er

the walls that you two droolers launched you’re un-

finished beers through. I hope you dorks had your fun

when you were in a state

of crockmosis! Wait,

I’m not done. Finally, those bean-bag chairs with the rips taped

up have to go. Please, let’s go buy something

that won’t trap people, and is shaped

like a chair, instead of some sort of demented mushroom,

and while you two clowns are at the store, maybe buy a broom,

so you can sweep up this petrified food

Now, are all my instructions understood?

Good, then my work here is done

Do you think you two clowns can handle this? Good, ‘cause I’ve got to run! "