Deco, God of Interior
"Let me introduce myself: My name is Deco,
God of Interior Decoration, and I’ve been sent heco—
err—here to keep you from thinking a bean-bag
chair and a big-screen T.V. is all you need. Please, don’t make me gag
You freaks don’t have a fricking clue
Once you leave mommy and daddy, you
take whatever b**t-ugly dregs your parents don’t want
It looks like s**t, but you keep on changing, undaunt-
ed, hoping it will suddenly look “cool”
Get real, you fricking fools!
S**t rearranged is still s**t!
That’s why I’m here, to see you at least have a bit
of a clue. Damn! Would you look at this place?
You two clowns need to be slapped, right in the face
It looks like a second-hand value store blew
chucks in here. This place needs some serious Deco help. You
two morons will do exactly as I say
First things first, lose the old wire spool. What, did you play
poker on it? Second, take down those tacky super-
model posters, unless they’re covering holes in-er
the walls that you two droolers launched you’re un-
finished beers through. I hope you dorks had your fun
when you were in a state
of crockmosis! Wait,
I’m not done. Finally, those bean-bag chairs with the rips taped
up have to go. Please, let’s go buy something
that won’t trap people, and is shaped
like a chair, instead of some sort of demented mushroom,
and while you two clowns are at the store, maybe buy a broom,
so you can sweep up this petrified food
Now, are all my instructions understood?
Good, then my work here is done
Do you think you two clowns can handle this? Good, ‘cause I’ve got to run! "