Lost and Not Found

I wake up in a panic; the walls are closing in

I can’t wait for the dawn, and the calmness it brings

Except not this time; I must have had a bad dream,

but I can’t recall it; it’s like I’m desperate, and it seems

the feeling only gets stronger; it doesn’t fade away

And I know it’s going to be one long day

Weighed down by my own regrets and fears

It’s like the rational part of me has disappeared

You speak the truth and I think you’re telling lies,

but the words you’re speaking are very wise

I’m just not in the mood to listen to you

You’re telling me not to look to

the past, for things that still haunt,

for the impossible things that I still want

I know that no matter how much I wish it,

nothing I do will change the way it played out, not a bit,

but even though I know the truth, I still work it over in my mind

Nothing ever changes, no piece of mind can I find

I’m lost in my regrets, I’m lost with the ghosts of yesterday

Struggling to make some kind of sense of the senseless, a way

of making amends for the times I was found wanting

Sometimes I find carrying the weight much too daunting