Everyday I lie awake, on the outside acting fake,
Feeling helpless, fears been met,
Secret feelings I forget.
Wanting, waiting to escape,
Sitting silenced by my hate,
Mind is screaming what is true,
Miss my heart, condemned by you.
Wondering why I choose to care,
True in my heart, but lost in my head,
Crying eyes and bleeding wrists,
Hugs of resentment and a meaningless kiss.
Wanting to hope, but I know that you'll never,
Forgive the becoming, of my forever.
How can I dream murder, but not feel the hate,
Taken aback by my comfortable state.
Oh how I yearn to escape from this life,
To love the blade, to breath the knife,
To run, to scream, abandon my thoughts,
How much would I bleed if the blade never stops.
But I cant turn back now, no I cant fix the damage,
Cant rid the disgrace of my unsettled stomach,
Cant rid my mind of sins demented descriptions,
Why should I love you if its my love that's forbidden.
My dreadful mistakes, your erasers must find,
Sweet sorrow must be when conflictions collide.