aw cute metaphor ^^
hm, mkay about the allusion - you need to actually refer to that famous walk in venice. does the walk of a title? if so then you would say something like "i'm taking my So in So walk down the [insert the name of the road]"
that's how an allusion works :) you tried though, lol so i'm glad you put in the effort to make it work.

now for my interp:

"In the game of chance, I will oblige to God"
- i saw it as a girl who has now put her faith in god for him to bring love into her life. she's tried and tried to find love, however
"Love constantly has constigation against my life"
-but love keeps punishing her so it seems (btw - check your spelling. it should be "castigation")
and she keeps walking down that "moonlit road" i.e. the road of life and then she's by that river again, the river of love ^^

nicely done! i liked how you compared your love to the game of roulette! ^^ though i wish you included more in there about the roulette.
you did a great job! ha, and you tackled the poem well for a 10! congrats :)

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Same thing wat A. O said in her last paragraph, last sentence.

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

omg i'm so oblivious! i just realized that you DID include the roulette! you have like 3 lines that describe the game!!!

Where all I want to is embrace the roulette of love
Every spin makes my heart beat with nerves
Hoping it can land somewhere hopeful above.

gawd i feel stupid now lol
so i take back what i said about wishing you included more of the roulette - b/c you did! i just didn't catch on to it XD

and your allusion is better too ^^ i think it would be cooler if it wasn't a symbollic road though. *sighs* though sometimes history can't always give you what you want, haha
once again
wonderful poem april! keep it up :)

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

Oh wow, very great poem! The challenge was very well done (oh no I will embarrass myself when I post this cuz by then alice will have seen so many good ones haha :P)

My favourite lines were "Every spin makes my heart beat with nerves/Hoping it can land somewhere hopeful above." because it was such a great metaphor and it really describes what you mean.

"As I go down that moonlit road./Love is the river that flows in my heart." As also such a great line ^-^ in terms of metaphor, imagery.

I slightly disagree with the Alice cuz I think you did a good job with the allusion :) It maybe a little dilute but you definitely got it!

Great job!

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

I thought this was super cute!
I think my favorite lines are "All I can see is a blob and a phantom of me" and "when I take my euros down to the game of chance, I get scared like love is making me asphyxiate."
I could definately relate to them.. this is a great example of how it truly is to be in love. You never know what to expect.
Keep up the good work!
~Yezi91~

Posted: Jun 20, 2008

........this is pretty awesome!
u sound like an old lady with lots of experience in life. but ur only fourteen!!
crazyness!

Posted: Jun 21, 2008

I like it.

Posted: Jun 24, 2008