I had lost myself, deep in the mist,
Sent into a void; a deep, dark abyss
And there was no light shining down,
There was no way for me to be found.
And the worst part of all…
Was that I didn't want to be.
I didn't know who I was, yet,
I didn't want to be me.
Tired of the lies and the cheating,
-That had resulted from the raping; and the beating.
How could I become a monster,
Like the ones that I had always feared?
How could I let myself go so dark, when friends were near?
The people who I had convinced that loved me,
The ones that said beauty was what they could see…
But how could I say I loved them,
When I didn't know what love was.
When I didn't know how to love myself, or what it does;
To me, the people around my, to my friends,
The people, who had said time and time again,
Would be there to the end.
But if they were, then why would I be here alone?
Alone, in the darkness, ashamed.
Ashamed, and lost, and the one way to blame;
The 'me', that didn't know herself,
The 'me' that couldn't handle the hand she was dealt.
It's my fault, and there's no going back.
So it's here I am to stay,
In the darkness: unloved and dying,
Until the day comes, I lie awake,
The day of death takes me.