I find it quite funny when someone goes back against their own word,
Like it doesn't matter to them that maybe, just for once, their broken promises will break through my skin.
That they don't realize the dangerous barriers that they're exceeding,
That they don't have enough care in the world to notice me anymore.
No, no, no, I'm nothing but a tragic wallflower.
A tragic one indeed.
For all the lies, love, hope, and truth in the world could not save me.
I'm gone, dead and gone, and I have been for a while,
And still, no one cares.
It doesn't matter what problems I have,
It doesn't matter what I even care to think anymore,
And, after all:
Why would it?
Why should such a lonely, impudent wallflower ever get a chance to stand up for itself for once,
To tear its claws through the façade and try to face the undisguised reality?
The questions, it bears among in its heart, they can no longer be ignored.
The tears that have never fallen, the leering glares and words, the clenching and unclenching of fists,
They can no longer be held in. For it has been too long.
In their darkened, cold, hopeless world, what is the true point of ever existing?
What good can a wallflower come from after broken relationships, friendships, after all the failures it has succeeded at?
And why…why does it hurt so much,
The pain that's embedded for many, many years, why does it hurt now?
…Why does it have to hurt.
It's quite funny, to see the misery that's been inside me for so long to come out, lashing at me,
All the misery created by me, and for the most important part- others.
Things changed fast, right in front of my eyes, and I was left, crippled, in a cold, silent, place.
Eyes dead, mouth closed, body rigid with unemotional phases,
Why can't it ever make sense? Why can't this rut be rid of the pain, why can't everything end…
Why can't death answer the question that comes knocking at my door?
It has never been peaceful or pleasing to me.
With needs somewhat fulfilled, and 0% of wants,
I am going to - intend to - leave this world somehow, like I am now-
Dead and unemotional.
The sadness, the anger, the tears, the depression, the mood swings, everything…
Has embedded to me and broken me down so that I crumple to my knees.
I find this all quite funny,
When in reality;
It isn't funny at all.