Real Pain

Real Pain

You don’t know what its like,

To feel this pain that’s so deeply embedded inside of me.

You don’t know what its like,

To see a knife sitting on a counter, and you can’t get the image out of your head,

Repeatedly slicing away at your wrists, the blood spilling out over the floor.

And you don’t know what’s it like, to imagine the thought of stabbing someone,

Over and over again.

Not counting for what they’ve ever done to you or someone else,

But stabbing over and over again, your mind wandering, chanting:

“Stab, stab, stab”.

You don’t know what its like,

To call yourself a pyromaniac, and go insane when people tell you that what you’re doing is wrong.

How could you judge me, when you’re the reason why humankind is evil?

You don’t know what its like,

To walk into a school, and just want to be done with it all;

To want to walk in there, shoot up the place, and leave without a care in your mind.

You see, you’ll never fully comprehend or understand WHY I think these thoughts.

It’s because my fucking mind is messed up, and I don’t care.

It’s because I can do these things to people, and my own self, because I have the reasons to.

And I can still do them, even when I don’t have a reason, because that’s who I am.

I’ll keep thinking these thoughts, considering them, and letting them come to life, and spark a fuse.

I’ll put the whole world under my fire,

Brighter and hotter than hell’s,

And I’ll keep it burning.

So we’ll keep going on in this world, with people chopping off other’s arms,

While people claim to be the good,

When they go home and make a kid wish they could kill themselves,

And they do.

So you go ahead and tell me, why I should hesitate before I cut my wrists,

Before I start a fire,

Before I go into a public place and shoot it up like I had no problem.

Because you can say those things, but only because you don’t know what real life is like.

You don’t know what real pain is.

Only I do, and that’s why I am who I am.

Pain is the deepest embedded part inside of me.

It’s who I am.