The Angry Joker
Underneath the hard, unbreakable shell of the emotionless girl,
There is a very, very vulnerable space that has to be hidden by her hard shell.
On the surface, she’s always laughing, always being silly and childish.
But for what reason?
Is it because she already knows, knows that she will never grow up?
Is the one girl who will be left behind, from all her friends, because everyone grew up and left her?
This reason may be true, but it’s only the beginning of the twisted thoughts and feelings of this jokester.
But why does she have to hide from everyone else? Why does she have to cover up with meaningless jokes and stupid phrases?
It’s all because she afraid.
She afraid of the people around her, about the people who will judge her.
She can’t go on living like this, being a fake, being completely unreal.
And so, because of these distraught and flustered feelings, she begins to feel angry at herself.
Why can’t she be normal like everyone else? Why can’t she feel accepted, even when she really is?
Anger fills her, and her hand reaches for the closest knife she can find.
Angry, red lines decorate her arm, but the anger doesn’t fade it away; it never does.
And so, is born an emotionless girl who can feel nothing but anger and hate.
She can only feel slightly accepted by being the center of laughter.
She can only be who she is,
When she doesn’t even know who that person really is.