Words I Can't Say

Words I Can’t Say

If I actually had the courage, I wouldn’t be able to tell you.

I wouldn’t be able to say my true feelings out loud…

Oh, I hate that word, feelings. They’re so complicated, they ruin things…

Sometimes they’re interpreted in ways that I didn’t mean for them to be.

Sometimes they ruin relationships that I worked so hard to make,

Sometimes, I forget that I don’t like having feelings.

They just take over my mind, paralyze my brain, and I get so confused…

Because I don’t want to like anyone, not anyone,

Even though you’re even more amazing than I really think,

Even though it pains me to even talk to you, knowing that you don’t how I feel about you.

And there I go again, use that word feel.

The world would be so uncomplicated if humans didn’t have feelings, if we just word mechanically like robots.

I would take everything back just so that I wouldn’t have to feel about you this way,

Because I know that we will never be together.

So no, I don’t want to be optimistic, I don’t want to confess to you about the way I feel, I don’t want to think about the future without you.

It doesn’t matter that I think there’s a physical attraction between us; it doesn’t matter that I would give everything up to be with you.

Because it’s not happening.

And I won’t ever be able to say that I love you.

Because I do, but you can’t know that. You can’t know how I really feel.