I try so hard,
To look people in the eye.
But thier eyes are like open doors,
Allowing me to see through thier disguise.
I am so tired of knowing what people feel,
I wonder if everyone else can do the same,
And sense emotion through someone's eyes.
It's driving me insane.
I want so badly,
Just to be with you,
But there is something first,
That I must do.
I have to fight back,
Against my other half.
All I feel is sorrow,
But I hide it with a smile and a laugh.
It's like there are two sides of me,
Fighting for control.
And now this war inside my head,
Is starting to take its toll.
One half of me wants me to move on.
It wants me to try to love again,
To try once more to trust,
Like I used to back then.
But the other half is the one in control.
It is the darker side of me,
That wants to keep me safe,
And not let anyone see.
It still remembers what happened last time,
When I tried to trust someone.
It remembers all the pain,
And how I came undone.
It's telling me not to trust anyone,
It's telling me I'll only be hurt once more,
That I'll never find a friend.
And so my two halves,
Are engaging in a war.
I war to see who comes out on top,
And who ends up on the floor.
My darker half is winning,
Holding me back.
Keeping me from being with you.
It's courage that I lack.
I'm so afriad to be hurt again,
That I'm too afriad to make the first move.
That pain from before has poisoned my mind,
Something time cannot undo.
My darker half is holding me against my will,
While I'm trying to break free.
I need someone to help me fight off,
The darker side of me.
I can no longer trust anyone.
My mind's a twisted mess.
I can't even trust myself,
But I try my best.
But who will win the battle for my mind,
The dark of the light?
Who will be the one to rule it all,
And who will lose the fight?
How long must this war last?
How long until it's done?
Meanwhile it's tearing me apart,
And I have nowhere to run.
I just need a little help,
I need to choose a side.
I have to make up my mind,
Before I run out of time.