Anger, hatred, the world against you
Walls closing in, feeling so small even the ants tower above me
Wondering when I'm going to be the next to be squashed
The volcano in my stomach, bubbling, fiery
The dynamite I could not spit, imploding,
Destroying myself slowly from within
My self fighting against myself
Wanting to just be free, to not be here anymore
To be anyone but me as I reflect back on all my wrongs
The slightest twitch and I'll be under attack
All will turn to me and fire their pains and words
Any movement into the light, and all will see me as I am, in my entirety
So I slink into the shadows.
I sit in the dark corner holding my knees
Hoping someone will show, someone will call
Someone will look and say, "Where'd he go?"
But when they do I just hold tighter, pull myself further away
I don't want anyone to see
I just want to be alone, I don't want to care, I want it all to go away
I don't want to do anything. Just let me fade away from time and memories
And disappear completely into the nothingness
I don't want your care and concern
At first you may try to raise me onto your shoulders
But I know you'll just throw me off and move onto the next better thing when you tire of me
Leaving me on the bottom of the basement stairs, staring at a speck of unreachable light that slowly fades into black
And I know that it's the end
I was left behind by everyone and I'm all alone
Never to be heard from or seen again
Because no one could see the hurt buried behind the smile
The "PLEASE HELP ME! I'm dying inside." behind the "Oh, I'm fine."
Tears splash down my eyes and I wonder what is to become of me, alone and forgotten.