Random First Lines: Chapter 3 Well night came and Serena was getting a head start on homework with Amanda when Veronica walked... : Fan Fiction » Read
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Submitted: Jul 18, 2007 Reads: 87 Comments: 1 Likes: 0
Im lost in my own ways, left with a empty head.
I havent seen you in days, and dont care if your dead.
You like to torture, and twist my heart around.
I wont take no more, and throw back what i found.
So keep walking, and dont show you ever cared.
And ill keep talking, of how your really scared.
I hate you, from the good you mad me feel.
One day you'll feel it too, from a cold heart you'll steal.
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I REALLY liked this poem, it embodies a lot of angst which we have all felt at one time or another in our lives. The anger is raw and well versed to reveal itself.. my only suggestion would be to improve it's impact by correcting the punctuation, spelling and grammatical errors in order to stabalize the visual flow. ((eg. "your" should be "you're" twice, "mad" should be "made" shouldn't it? Missing commas etc))
But this is a really GREAT compilation of emotion, keep up the good work in your writings!
Posted: Jul 23, 2007
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Other writing by Nessly305 Lifeless Leaders Hepless Head Hole Crazed, Dazed (corrected Version) Blinded vol.1 What is it? More..
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