Beautiful poem and so sad "Where I see you but you don't see me"

Posted: May 28, 2008

Love this Nixie but confess to trouble with the last stanza it doesn't flow as well as the other three.

Posted: May 28, 2008

I think that last stanza is great as you've personified Ocean and Sun and are simply using their "names", as what you do with personification.

How very sad and we all find ourselves in this metaphoric situation in life from time to time.

When someone turns on you.

Posted: May 28, 2008

i love the line "Till sun turned away in envy"
A beautiful way of telling one of a sunset (correct me if i'm wrong) :)
it's very calm and it's one that needs to be read slowly.
good job, all the best.

Posted: May 28, 2008

yes, very beautiful. It's like someone is sitting on the dunes watching two lovers hold hands on the beach; except maybe you used to know them? Or one of them? Used to all be friends but they have turned on you? I don't know if I'm right, but that's what I read. The words almost made me think of an adult looking back at childhood friends, but that's just me. Wonderful as always!

Posted: May 28, 2008

hi, humm a very touching and tender piece of poetry. Very emotional in a controlled way. I love the metaphors you use to describe what feels like a friendship going through a difficult situation. I say friendship instead of lovers because it seems to have that innocent quality which becomes lost when a relationship becomes more intimate. Also the personification of sun and ocean are beautifully played out. Ah, the envious sun!! The sun is envious of the rain, the rain of the wind, ocean is envious of the sky, and the sky of the earth. You see there is never any end to these emotions, and once caught within their grasp, one is whipped around and around. So jealousy comes in and one feels like they are pushed into the distance. But that is not so. To me this poem speaks of an inner turmoil. And there is change in life like the changing tide, and it is hard to accept. But how much of that change is inside ones head, and actually no part of reality. We project our own interpretations of events, but how true are they; do they have any substance beyond our own projection. Why is the sun envious of the ocean? I think most friendships end through misunderstanding. Though beautifully written this poem is so sad. The figure sitting in the distance, who sees but is unseen, is heartbreaking; I think we’ve all been that figure from time to time and wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
There’s a beautiful quote by the Dali Lama: “Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”
I find this poem so full of emotions, but they are feelings which are self-destroying.
This is beautifully written and I’ll certainly b checking out more of your stuff!!!

Posted: May 28, 2008

Excellent poe. It really does give you vivid image in your mind. I like it.

Posted: May 28, 2008

I like it! It does give you a vivid image. I really like it! It's one of my faves!

Posted: May 29, 2008

Ah Nixie, Nixie, what to say? this is beautiful!
I love the metapjors. 'leaving salt on our sandy feet'
'the ocean crept up of us washing away that memorie'

hahahaha 'ditto the above'
anytime Matt or Classy comment it is a pleasure to join in, so intriging!....LOVE IT!!!! ^_^
take care sweetie ~katie

Posted: May 29, 2008

so sad, why do people start taking each other for granted instead of cherishing each other like a gem for the rest of their lives. Life is so short and we treat people who love us badly. Will GOD ever be happy to see that in HIS world of love, everything is slowly getting lost ....And jealousy, hatredness , competition, ignorance etc etc are getting prominent places in our thick skull.....

I wish times change...innocence comes back and love manifest everywhere esp between two lovers who later become husband and wife and then parents and then die...together...hands -in-hands...lol it never happens...or does it??

Posted: May 29, 2008

sorry Nic, got drifted away from ur theme....got emotional again...Mom says I am the biggest emotional fool on the face of earth....lol

Posted: May 29, 2008