It sounds like love, maybe once, but now unattainable. Now just an obsession from a far??? Ted

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

One of the things I enjoy about your poems is how close the subject matter is to mine. I find this interesting to see a different perception on a theme I use - maybe will appear sometime....

OK, this is pretty well done. Trying to avoid reviewing this without becoming enticed in your feelings is difficult so there is definite power in the words. They could be tightened a fraction though. I'll send you a 'version' on MS and let you see what I mean. I am no poet though, just have a few different angles on things that hopefully you will find useful. Will do this in the next couple of days. I let you know when. Do tell me if this is useful to you or not.

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

You've managed to sum up most mature relationships in 6 stanzas. It's funny, but I understand correctly, which I probably don't!! LOL!, I was only having this conversation the other day! Anyway, great work, again.

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

Hiya Nixie....I took this on a more spiritual note like a mother asking a child to be aware of all the lines separating us from evil

At the same time, there was one more vision in my mind...

A girl not sure whether her chosen one is the one with whom she wants to spend the rest of her life and this line is dividing her thoughts and questioning her faith...
lol...

there i go again...off track...i hope i made some sense...hee.eee...hee

Posted: Jul 16, 2008

SOUNDED SO MUCH LIKE A LOVE THAT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE , VERY SAD BUT VERY WELL WRITTEN .
TERRY

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Very thought provoking Nixie, like how you point all these little/big things that we are aware of yet don't always think about to the surface and make them shine; so we can all ponder our selves(reflect) in them;)

Yes, sometimes it does seem like our relationships can be so defined by those lines...sometimes though it seems like the lines become our friends and get fuzzy for us from time to time, lol.

~rain

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Nixie - like I have been doing with a few poems lately I have downloaded to read and critique - without reading any of the comments above I hope it is a fresh look at your always special writing. So I'll be back some time later, not too long I hope.

Posted: Jul 17, 2008

Well here goes - since downloading this I see you have up two more poems!! You are very prolific, a true muse and your art work is stunning (I love art as well but haven't created anything in a long time)
Nixie your first three stanzas about the "line" also describes a love - and an understanding about boundaries - within your love and friendship. (in my view) And while you both see this line it sparkles, glistens, comforts and all is perfect. While you couldn't see beyond the line all went smoothly, but suddenly you see more clearly - you eyes are no longer shut to things that glisten even more fiercely beyond the line - passion, a deeper more intimate bond, you realise that "Playing happily in our space" is far from perfect. There could be more. Nixie I see this as something that could happen between a lover with a married man for example, or plutonic relationships for whatever reason. One feels the line sparkle more alluringly than the other and wants the whole thing, while the other is content or unable (because of another relationship for eg.) to cross it.
I love the ending because the wanting to cross the line by one partner is the beginning of the end.
I like this Nixie, not too deep but a different look at relationships.

Posted: Jul 19, 2008

Forgot to say in the above that I agree about the "morals" part - I don't think I spelt it out, but in the example of a woman with a married lover what she wants is "out of bounds" (although what he has offered, even though not the whole thing should also be out of bounds - he in fact has already crossed the line of another relationship) And though she yearns for more she knows that crossing over is not right for either partner or innocent people in the background. I very much see a married person with a single person here!

Posted: Jul 20, 2008

Hiya NIC, i came back again to re-read this. I really loved this one...Honestly, all ur posts touch the readers' soul and never leave them.

it stays with us forever....

Posted: Jul 30, 2008

Oh this is dizzyingly good - You write about such brilliant themes articulated magificently. As much as being on here is appreciated, you MUST start earning money off of what you write. You writing reaches so many people on so many levels and that isn't a common ability to possess.

Spread yourself out my friend and cash in on that rare talent that more people must discover.

Posted: Aug 3, 2008

Wow, do I recognise that line! Perfectly captured - amazing. You packed so much complexity into this...i'm a little overawed.Great stuff.

Posted: Aug 24, 2008