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Exit System

Poem By: October O
Poetry


Some sort of celestial sigh... View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Aug 18, 2008    Reads: 69    Comments: 10    Likes: 7   


Exit System
 
Something is in retrograde
Passing beyond our delicate net
And time knows what time is
But it won’t tell us
 
Many departures chill the sand
Where we press our bodies and make angels
All stopped for a moment to observe
Then moved slowly away without looking back.
 
Something is exhaling
Just quietly enough
So we think we might hear it
Purposeful and vast and poised
 
And when the sun bears down at the end
And we are scorched, radiant and beautiful
Climb on my back
Kick the sand castles over
Gather all that you require
 
And just listen.


7

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Comments:

Oh My God, I Love, love , love love love IT! lol ^_^
yes totally cosmical/metaphysical
this I adore: "time knows what time is, but it won't tell us" and "something is exhaling just quietly enough so..." it is as if you can dissapear so deep into the moment you could almost see something materialise/being breathed forth.

well, anyhoo, HA! ok, I remember seeing you a while back and before I got to read much of your posts I think you were gone. This one is totally awesome, glad I remembered you -- October O cool name
~katie

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Yes, i'm back and possibly a bit more obtuse than before! Thanks loads for your comments, and appreciation of the mataphysical.

Simply beautiful. Can't say much more.

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

You don't need to! Many thanks

Tell Katie to back off, I found you first! ha!

As always, your poetry is divine and I, myself, being a devout believer in the universal laws of celestial sighs, must admit this is one of my favourite pieces of poetry October O.

Posted: Aug 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Look who's getting all possessive!Gives me a warm feeling inside.Thanks, CP.

Hey October :) I am glad that I finally got a chance to read something by you. And, wow, was it worth it. I agree with peach above me, this is also one of my favorites now. I love the tone and wording (you used the word "retrograde"!). The phrasing is also perfect, absolutely perfect. I am definitely a fan now :) Take care October, Regan

Posted: Aug 22, 2008

Author Comment:

Why thank you!I think this one is my best yet, though my favourite is Star Fall (for fairly obvious reasons!).Great to have you reading my offerings.

Wow, that is one big celestial sigh! The first stanza hit home for me, those lines suggest your fate is set by the universal laws which are out of our control. I keep writing about time and fate, both are working against me. This was... possibly is your best, aaah, so hard to stamp it the winner when they're all so good! ~ Nixie

Posted: Aug 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Oh you...now i'm blushing!I think this might be my best, too.It hit at 2 a.m.,was written in three minutes and I didn't change a word.Like to know why that happens.When I try - nothing!Hence the sporadic output.Thanks, Nixie!

To be honest with you, this one affects me in a different way each time I read it. I suspect that may be one of the points it's making. It's big! I'll get back to you... if we're spared.

Posted: Aug 24, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks! Big is good, i'll take your big and raise it to apocalyptic.

The title is brilliant as is the poem.
Love the third stanza.

Posted: Sep 2, 2008

*I don't know how to describe this-it is awesome and takes you to another realm*
-Meg-

Posted: Sep 5, 2008

I love the precision in this. The stellar like qualities that speak of deepness.

Posted: Sep 8, 2008

I heard that! I LIKE IT; More than that.

craaig

Posted: Sep 16, 2008



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