Solid Earth

Publish. Read. Get Read.

Random First Lines: “Dreaming” ... : Other » Read

Poem By: October O
Poetry

Urgh - a bit depressing, this one. Promise to write about kittens next time... View table of contents...

Submitted: Aug 18, 2008 Reads: 52 Comments: 8 Likes: 7

Solid Earth

The time that I wrapped solid earth around you

Didn’t mean it to keep you there for ever

Thought that you would spring through the door laughing

Like you always did, like you always did.

Now you cannot return – all my doing

No lit candles or mantras or pleading

Can manifest you – I have tried it all

It is final and absorbed and ended

I used to laugh about this once, with you

Polished oak and satin and white lilies

Shocked faces at the chosen send-off tune

Suddenly not amusing. Come back soon.

Email this story | Print Story | Add to reading list

Comments:

Richard Elliott

Ooh - a sober piece, October. Funeral imagery and, especially, the chosen send-off tune line are very powerful. "Spring through the door laughing" seems loaded too. Sad but lovely.

Posted: Aug 18, 2008

Author Comment:

Cheers, Mr E.

rickyengland

Reeks of melancholy (compliment!)
I too loved line 3
Oo....you're back!!!

Posted: Aug 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Yes,got a bit maudlin there.Thanks, Ricky!

Classy Peach

Un-break my heart.

Lovely. Simply Lovely.

Posted: Aug 20, 2008

Author Comment:

Ta, Peach.

tomcha

the profundity and indicative mood of the piece struck a familiar chord. think it is wonderful. must read other material:this month: when time permits. excellent. cheers O.

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Thanks, tomcha. Think you may like Exit System - love to know what you make of it.

Nixie

And my heart sighs. Yes, sad but awesome writing, loved every word! ~ Nix

Posted: Aug 23, 2008

Author Comment:

Cheers my dear.

Heartbreaking, and written in a way we can all relate to. It just never seems possible that these people never will come bounding back the way they always did.

The way I look at it is if you always remember them, then they never really go anywhere.

Looking forward to your kittens - but in the meantime this is awe-inspiring writing.

Posted: Sep 1, 2008

Ken Simm

Depressing maybe? I thought more living in hope. Excellent piece well crafted.

Posted: Sep 3, 2008

Azmat Shah

Hello,
that one was really raw and i loved it because the emotions you tried to evoke are so universal. Do you know i actually thought of a loved one i lost recently when i was reading that poem. That just goes to show that your poem has universal appeal, for to me the best poems are ones which connect with different readers in a personal way and hold meaning for everyone who reads them.
You know i have read several of your poems and i feel that you really have a flair for narrative writing, maybe you should try writing a book, i have a feeling that could be your true calling.

Posted: Sep 18, 2008