wow, first of all i want to say this is a beautifully sad poem! There's an air of dejection about it, a meloncholy cloud that covers all, but i love it. Yes it as a sense of inner turmoil, as though there is two conflicting emotions ripping at your insides. I love this line “Like sure arrows striking the sorrow of it all” I assume the poem is about love, but theres something else in there which attracts me. Maybe it’s the image of something hidden, something secret, and also the dreamer in contrast to you and me. It’s as though there is a desire which hasn’t been voiced but kept hidden from the object of that desire. Everything about this poem points inwards, internally, as though the voice cannot be breathed upon the air.
It’s as though there’s also a conflict with reality and the imagination, I could almost take this poem to suggest a battle between reason and the imagination; the inner battle for the writer to create. Also I love the ending

“To tear apart this paradox that is to be,
To separate dream and heart
Is to reach into the depths of me
And tear it all apart”

So beautiful and again that conflict between “dream and heart” Well this is a wonderful piece of writing with so much emotion tied to it. I can’t read it over and over and pull different images and meanings out of it. I can’t believe I’m the first to comment! Show this poem to the world and it will fall in love with your words!! Wonderful stuff!!!!!!!!

Posted: Jun 22, 2008

I like the way you write...very trippy, yet Shakespeare-ish...if that makes sense...;)

Posted: Jun 24, 2008

There a lot of "poems" on here that could be just considered a "writing", but there are few that are actually art. This is one of those few. Your wording is excellent and I like how you don't use common rhymes. This is one of my favorites on Booksie!

Regan

Posted: Jun 25, 2008

Thank you and thank you. This hits the nail on my head. Self-pity can be very real. (Only the way i interpret this wonderful work, mind you.) I may have got it all wrong -- like picking at a scab.

Now I'm picking nits, but I think you meant to have an apostrophe in exultation's. Again, i could be wrong; often am.

I'd very much appreciate your comments, if any, on my latest: Judge Knot.

Thanks again. I LIKE (really love) IT.

craaig

Posted: Sep 16, 2008

i enjoyed this quite a bit..i also love that you dont use conventional rhyming, yet everything flows very well.
i relate to this deeply. wonderfully written.

To tear apart this paradox that is to be,
To separate dream and heart
Is to reach into the depths of me
And tear it all apart

perfect.

Posted: Oct 18, 2008