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I'm a Robin I'm a Mockingbird

Poetry By: Patricia McGurk Martin
Poetry



I used to be a Robin caroling, calling, even shouting from the trees or the ground. Sometimes I was a Mockingbird singing, sparkling dazzling - a warrior fighting every day.

Now I am only old.


Submitted:Apr 20, 2011    Reads: 41    Comments: 0    Likes: 0   


I'm a Robin I'm a Mockingbird

© 2011 Patricia McGurk Martin Hearst Himmler

I used to be a Robin caroling

calling even shouting from the trees

or the ground

Sometimes a Mockingbird singing

sparkling dazzling

A warrior fighting every day

Now I am only old

They say my family loves me

But I'm sitting in silence

In an apartment I can't see

They tell me it is beautiful

And expensive

That they love me and this is proof

But I can't really hear them anymore

It is so damned quiet in old age

Now I am only old

No one cares I can't see them when

They visit and they shout because

They think it will help me to see them

With loud cheerful voices ridiculing me

They shout repeatedly HOW ARE YOU???

HOW ARE YOU MOTHER? OR

HOW ARE YOU, DAD?

HOW ARE YOU???

Ridiculing my solitude my jail

With forced false cheer like at Christmas

Christmas celebrations that I never had

but they did

HOW ARE YOU???

ARE WE DOING ALL RIGHT?

My daughter says in a snide phony voice

Disguised as sweet

If I say no I am not doing all right

They ignore me or criticize me

For being negative

Saying it isn't good for me to get upset

Wearing perfume or cologne for the men

So I will know they are present near me

And dressed up to honor me

Even though I know they don't want

To be here

It is only a duty I think

Even though I love them

Sometimes I think they never were

any good and never did measure up

and I mean it

Even as children they were no good

I say on bad days

He was an obnoxious boy I think

once again

to myself about my own son

he never changed my mind since then

While they leave in a group

Feeling good about themselves

as usual at my expense

they take up the room

and leave it empty

Even though I know they want me

To remember they once loved me

as children and try to love me now

but don't

I am left alone

Constantly remembering I am old

Thinking about what kind of pretty

dress my daughter must have been

wearing to smell so very pretty

was it silk and soft?

as her perfume lingers in my room

the room I cannot really see

my son's cologne makes me

want him to hug me another time

saying everything is all right

I am alone I am old

Still a warrior still a Robin

Not really a Mockingbird anymore

As I forgot the melodies

He must have been

an obnoxious boy like I always

thought

she never loved me

enough where I could see it

or feel it I used to tell her

What went wrong?

What went wrong for me to be

So damned alone leaving?

I know I am leaving

Old age has only one outcome

This is their only chance

to love me

it is almost gone like my breath






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