You just mess with what is true.
When the facts are boring
Make them interesting - that is you!
That lad you said weighed twenty stone
And stood at four foot four,
Was really two foot taller
And weighed twelve stone - no more!
You said the woman up the street
Had children by the score.
It made your story funny
But, in fact, she had just four.
That three foot elf, all dressed in green
You saw dancing in the park
You did admit that was untrue,
You just said it for a laugh.
That day you fell from the ladder
While climbing to the roof.
You said you climbed four hundred feet
Now you know that's not the truth!!
Then there was that old man, who lived close by,
When you were very small,
The one who dressed in robes of black
And had ears that were two foot tall!!
The size of that great fish you caught
It weighed nigh on a ton.
Six feet long and three feet wide
And your friend? Well, he caught none.
I love you very dearly,
You are a very precious mate,
But there's one small thing that I must say
PLEASE don't exaggerate!!!