Thanks Pratibha for helping me realise that I am cared for and my decision to stick to this rotten marriage for my son is not wrong.

Yes, I am selfish. Selfish for my son, selfish for myself because I cannot see tears flowing down his cheeks.

thanks for writing this beautiful poem for me. I am grateful to you forever for letting people know my dillema as a MOM, a selfish MOM.

All I wish is that GOD should never let anyone suffer like me. GOD has his plans and I am sure HE will relieve me from this trauma one day. I will wait for that fateful day when Justice will be delivered.

Posted: May 26, 2008

this is really really good, and i learned a lot from it! Great job! i liked it a lot!

Posted: May 26, 2008

Pratibha, first of all, I thought this is a well executed poem, details the exact feelings why people stay together, although in my eyes with deeper meaning I sense an underlying issue of fear of the unknown, and a reluctance to change.
ok but also when children are around parents that have animosity toward each other, even as it is unspoken, this is still senced by the child on a deeper level. children sense everything, how you feel at all times you know? the happier you are deepens the security of that child. I think when we are unhappy then the child knows this and has fears you know? Well, what do I know? hahahha
anyway all things are, and all thing are good
Bless you Pratibha as always, peace to you and love...katie

Posted: May 26, 2008

Great piece Pratibha. My mom was sort of in a similar situation, until now. She is moving out now and we are all helping her do that. She stayed in a horrible marriage all this time, but now we are all grown and she can finally leave. In a way, there are times I wish she had left sooner, but she had her other reasons. This piece came at just the right time. THanks Pratibha.

Posted: May 26, 2008

good expression,great,ur thoughts have wings....nice

Posted: May 26, 2008

awww, such a sad story. I love the way you think, you are so honest and complexe. Your wirting always inspires me no matter what, and your personality as well. You have this motherly, GOOD sense about you. I really look up to you.
Great story!
Steph(:

Posted: May 26, 2008

I wouldn't dare comment on something that is so close to your heart. But despite the deep sorrow sung in this poem, I am happy that you have not lost the capacity to love and to be happy. In the end, that is what matters.

Posted: May 26, 2008

A very sad story, but depending on the situation, we finally end up selfish...........but i hope there are some good things in store as well for going through all this pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have written it very well dear!

Posted: May 26, 2008

i really like this one as i can relate to it so well i too stayed in an unhappy unfulfilling marriage we all have our reasons why we inflict such pain on ourselves especially those of us who are moms seems the onlly thing we concern ourselves with is our children and their happiness and somewhere along the way we completly forget about ourselves and for that we do become SELFISH MOMS but i believe that is what makes us better moms to our children :)

Posted: May 26, 2008

Pratibha, This is such a powerful story. The intersection of life is one of the most emotional places to find yourself standing, because it forces us to ask the question the moment the light turns green: which way do I go?

Posted: May 26, 2008

There is so much sense in this poem. This speaks about real event in a Mom's life---sad happening though. But I like the kind of selfishness being conveyed. Honestly, from the perspective of a child, I would have loved my family intact but, being as grown up as I am now, I don't want to see either of my Mom or Dad suffer just to save the relationship. I only hope everything's part of the test and that they really can get through it TOGETHER.

The situation is very complicated and it must be very difficult to deal with it in actuality, I mean for either party who doesn't find real happiness in the relationship anymore.

How wonderful it is to feel the involvement of an "US" in every relationship. An "US" which is neither dominated by a "YOU" nor an "I" alone.

You did a good job, Pratibha!
I get emotional on this.
*Teary Eyed*

Posted: May 26, 2008

Wow, I don't even know how to respond to this poem. I felt it so deeply that it has etched into my heart a little bit. I don't have any children yet, so I can't touch on that part, but I honestly don't think the person is selfish at all. I think it is the most unselfish act of all: staying in something that is making you miserable so that your child can have both parents. Whether in the long run that is a good thing, I don't know. I used to wish that my parents had stayed together, but now I see how much happier they are and I am glad. Beautiful and heart-felt poem! ~Emily

Posted: May 26, 2008

Oh, this one was heart breaking. It horrible to stay in a loveless marriage, but I completely understand her staying for her child. That child makes everything worth enduring, but its never good to stay someplace you're unloved. Life is so short and the love between parents is one of the lessons we give our children. How do they learn how to love if not through us? I don't think she's selfish. She's strong, but I hope a better future for her.

Posted: May 26, 2008

Great Poem....I would again like to reiterate my thoughts which I have mentioned in your poem on MAMA....that woman is most wonderful creature the god has created....

Posted: May 26, 2008

Mom, I'd love to hug you now. ^^

Posted: May 27, 2008

Very beautiful poem

Posted: May 27, 2008

tired of telling that u r good.
there r lot of mama out there who have suffered as in ur poem. why god gives happiness to some and worries to some, no one knows... but these r the mamas who make the world a better place to live........

Posted: May 28, 2008

u make me so happy with your honest words as someone who is on the threshold of walking away from an indifferent relationship...this is why she is selfish...he hasnt actively done anything horribly bad or obvious to her (e.g. hit her) but he has confused and eroded her being with HIS selfishness and emotional abuse...

And although she stays with him for her son, he hasnt managed to dim her passion...yet.

Very good!

Posted: May 28, 2008

I think this is a wonderful poem. I am not sure if I agree with the word "selfish" because that to me conjure up someone who thinks only of themselves. Sacrificial is probably a better word? Sacrificing personal happiness and fulfilment for the sake of a child (who loves both Papa and Mama, so how could you deprive him of this?) Glad you wrote this down, a thought provoking poem and one I can empathise with.

Posted: May 28, 2008

She is a woman that love or loved , but not selfish .

Posted: Jun 1, 2008

I have to say this is a very emotional poem....Selfish i do not think so, we give our love and when its shunned and not returned it fades like the suns at night, our children need our wisdom and our love to help them through there life, for without our guidence and direction plus of cause our love, where would they be, and a love for a child is so diffrent than the love of a man, I do not think you selfish otherwise i would feel that way too!, Loved this very much .......enjoy your son enjoy your his years for soon they pass and befor you know it there all grown.....Take care happy days to you Juliet xx

Posted: Jun 2, 2008

You know, I have such mixed feelings about the topic of this poem. I agree with what you said in your response to Devi Prasad's comment, that selfLESS mothers like the one portrayed in this poem make the world a better place by sacrificing themselves for their children. But at the same time it just makes me want to SCREAM that there are women out there who feel so unloved and are so manipulated by the men they love.

My mom was in a similar situation with my dad, who always told her she was ugly and useless and selfish and not worth anything, but all the while he was cheating on her and treating my brother and I badly. When he left my mother was heartbroken because she felt like she had lost her soulmate. Eventually she came to her senses and met someone new, and my stepdad loves her, appreciates her and treats her like the goddess she is. She was better off without my dad, but it took a long time before she realized that she was powerful, beautiful and strong all along.

For the most part I was raised by my mom alone, so as a child of a "selfish" mother I just want to say that a child does not want their mother to be mistreated simply for the sake of having a person to call "dad." When the child grows up they realize that a beautiful, strong, loving mom WILL fill the void left by a rotten, unappreciative, manipulative father.

But I do think this was a powerfully-written, amazing poem, Pratibha. It brought forth some strong emotional ties to my heart, and though the topic frustrated me I thought the poem itself was wonderful.

Stephanee :)

Posted: Jun 3, 2008

Too often mothers sacrifice themselves for their children. I think that's one of the greatest gifts children can ever receive. Knowing that there's one person on this planet that will give up eveyrthing for you. I've go the greatest respect for my mother. After 22 years of marriage and raising us, she finally decided that her job was done and she got a divorce. The person she became after that was a transformation that you won't believe. Well done on this one. I'm forwarding it to my mother as well. She will love it and I'm positive this is going to draw tears....

Posted: Jun 5, 2008

i hope this is not about you! because you are not selfish at all!!! gosh no!!! aahh! the emotion in this poem is like...hmm...er...whats the word..oh yeh!! ASTOUNDING! good job! wonderful!!

Posted: Jun 6, 2008

I know the lady in question. I've met her many times. She has many faces and names. One of her carnations haunts me to this day. No matter how hard I tried, she kept throwing herself at monsters posing as men. I still love her too much. But, at least, the heartaches that I have suffered in her honor serve as inspirations to carry on and live victoriously. I see her face and hear her voice in the faces and voices of more than a few women in my stories. By the way, Is She Selfish??? is a very good poem and story.

Posted: Jun 7, 2008

Oh I think the one calling her selfish is projecting himself on to her. For she is no where near selfish, giving of herself so that her child, their child, may have the best. Yet this tangled web is absorbed by the innocent child, digested and accepted as normal. It is a crime for any parent, mother or father, to suffer and labor and love and persevere while the other does what they want, pleases themself. I hope your friend finds respite and that their child is blessed with this peace.

Posted: Jun 9, 2008

Ok... I like it, BUT I still don't get it, why she is selfish??? Could U please tell for me in some words??? :):) Thanks. Just because more important is kid, not she??

;-);-)

Posted: Jun 28, 2008

Excellent poem, though I do believe there must be some way to achieve balance in ones life. There must be a limit even to such noble traits as selflessness.

Posted: Jul 24, 2008

I came to read ya stuff...And I saw this poem. It looked interesting, so I decided to read it. After I read this I thought hard about my life and my parents. This helped me see w how hard love is especially when u r married! Great job, my dear friend!

Posted: Jul 31, 2008

What a selfless selfishness!!!Di, u have given selfishness an entirely new meaning.One thing i wud like 2 say is dat ur writings directly touch d heart.Well done di!!!!!!!!!! bye , tc & lots of love.

Posted: Aug 17, 2008

Di I was busy in d admission process. I may not get tym 2 access frequently 2 booksie. U can understand d kind of competition & d amount of studies we have but whenever i get tym i will surely write 2 u.
Byeeee& tc
Yours bunny..........heeheehee.....

Posted: Aug 21, 2008

that was very nicely expressed. and very nicely done!

Posted: Aug 24, 2008

Very well written and well executed. True, a woman has to endure a lot for her own children. But the mom in your poem is not at all selfish. In fact, hers has been an act of utmost selflessness.

Posted: Sep 3, 2008