Random First Lines: christmas eve at the poorhouseit was christmas eve at the poorhous,and over a grudging blaze,the wretched... : Poetry » Read
Welcome Visitor: 
I offer you myself take me back...
this is about a man who beat up his wife and she took him back and hes now trying to show her that he will never do it again and that hes sorry..
View table of contents...
Submitted: Jul 1, 2008 Reads: 53 Comments: 8 Likes: 1
Open arms to fix the harm they have done.
*
Embrace and forgive, forget.
*
Shoulders for crying on are well worn,
One thousand empty tissue boxes tower on the floor.
*
Broken, bruised hearts tattooed with art to blur there sorrow and hurt.
*
A kiss on the lips for reassurance,
A linking of fingers, to never let go.
*
Hold on my love, and well get through tomorrow.
END.
Ok tell me what you think.!
This was thought up and written rather quickly...
Im over this actually hehe -19/9/08
Email this story |
Print Story |
Add to reading list
I like it a lot! Great job!
Posted: Jul 3, 2008
Your comments at the end are a riot!
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
I always think the ones written quickly are the best! This was really nice, I liked "A kiss on the lips for reassurance, a linking of fingers, to never let go." it's a sweet line, and reminds me of a few things. I enjoyed this, my kind of style. ~ Nixie
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
I liked it.Great job and very romantic.Very touching as well I think.
Posted: Aug 4, 2008
I found it to be pretty good considering you wrote that on a whim; it sounds very natural and beautiful. It could have been longer, and I'd love to see what would have happened if you developed it more, but it was a very nice start.
I got your comment on my profile today, I just posted my first poem and was wondering how you get the formate like that (centered, etc...) on your poem. I'd also love to hear any tips you have about mine to make it better!
I look forward to reading your other stuff.
Posted: Aug 4, 2008
i
Posted: Sep 1, 2008
great poem, really good imagery. A side note, I've read a lot about psychology ( yeah, I read a lot of crazy stuff), whether you know it or not, but whatever happens to anyone in younger age, he/she will always go back to that same thing. For example: if someone gets a lot of humiliation while he was young, he will definitely either want to humiliate people or get humiliated, unconsciously of course. I just told you this because your poem just seem to be one of the case.
Posted: Sep 10, 2008
I'm the kind of poet that prefers the use of images and symbols to express meaning and definition so, I like this one. No real emphasis on emotions although that's what it's about. I prefer those kinds of poems. It's more powerful that way. In short, kudos kiddo :)
Posted: Oct 17, 2008
© Copyright 2008 puddleofink All rights reserved. puddleofink has granted theNextBigWriter, LLC non-exclusive rights to display this work on Booksie.com.
Other writing by puddleofink The needle and a beast. Maddening She was here A few of my old poems i wrote a long time ago The problem (a poem about jealousy and her ugly rearing head) More..
Love, Poetry, Life, Death, Poem, Romance, Pain, Fantasy, Hope, Sad, Sex, God, Hate, Horror, War, Hurt, Humor, Sadness, Loss, Dark, Depression, Fiction, Heart, Family, Faith.
