I think my life is totally over.
Then you come along and fix everything.
I feel happy.
I feel better.
It feels to good to be true.
But then i do the worst thing i could do.
I lied to you.
I hurt you.
I broke you.
Why? you ask.
The answer is simple.
Because i didnt want to lose you.
You then did exactly that.
You left me with only myself to blame.
I ruined everything.
Your only "comforting" words were 'well we can be friends and go from there'.
That hurts more than what i did.
Cause it reminds me that you cared about me.
Its been 2 months.
For 2 months you didnt say a word to me.
For 2 months i never saw you once.
For 2 months you never called.
After those 2 months i gave up and found someone new.
I waited for 2 months for you.
But now i go to youth group more often.
I see you there all the time.
You ignore me.
I watch as you talk to your friends and such.
Then i bring my new boyfriend to youth group and everything changes.
You go from ignoring me to watching the 2 of us intensely.
Your expression goes from not caring to horiffid, jealous, and upset.
You dont say your jealous but you and i both know that you are.
You say that you still care bout me but yet your chasing other women.
How do i know you really care?
How do i know that it wasent some kind of act?
How can i even trust you enough to be my friend now?
When you came into my life i had everything i ever wanted.
A sweet boyfriend.
And most importantly i felt loved by someone other than my family.
But now you barely speak to me.
I love my boyfriend but i also love you.
But the love i feel towards you is a different kind of love.
You were my first REAL boyfriend.
You were my first love.
I still kinda love you but i only love you like my brother.
I will NEVER forget the time we had shared together.
But thats all in the past.
You used to be my lover.
But now you are my brother.