"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
I can't believe this quote, this simple statement
That one can suffer so greatly and should be thankful
That one can be injured and expected to heal with time
That one can find a middle ground between pain and hatred
A simple middle ground between love and hate
A simple middle ground between justice and peace
A simple middle ground between safety
And checking every corner of every room in the house you sleep in
A simple middle ground between paranioa and bliss
I can't believe that someone can make such a selfish decission and walk away free
I can't believe that someone can injure a person psyhcologically for life
I can't beleive how much pain one man can cause in a life, how much hell can be bottled up over a decade
I can't believe that
I have been broken, physically, and I know,
Physically and mentally I'm stronger for that pain
But I always knew something wasn't right,
I just never realized that he was the cause
Memories so repressed that I couldn't talk about them for 15 years!
Memories that I remember visualizing as a polaroid picture
Memories that I concously crumpled into little balls and burnt, taking the ashes and pouring them into a pit
Memories that I buried for years!
But it is this experience that has made me who I am!
For better or worse, I am awkward around anyone who resembles him.
For better or worse, I am not comfortable around anyone of his race
For better or worse, I cannot speak about what happened
For better or worse, I want to burn it all down.
I don't want to kill him; I want to watch him live out the rest of his life, marked by what he did
I want to scar him the same way he scarred my mind
I want him to be seen, by every man, woman, child, father, mother, son, daughter, wife, for exactly what he is!
I want him to be marked for all mankind to see
This is the man that breaks lives!
This is the one that takes innocence!
Let no man feed him, let none aid him!
He will wander, alone, and broken, like me
Unable to be loved as I am left unable to love
Unable to be seen as I am unable to see those around me for who they are
Unable to live his life as he wants, as I am left, unable to live mine as I wish
I want these things, so that the day he dies,
I can look down on him, and I can see that he suffered in this life
I can see his scars, his pain, and I can forgive him
And not condem him to suffer in the next
For then, we will have justice
For then we will have found the simple middle ground
Between what he did to me, and what I want to do to him
For then we will have found that simple middle ground
And then, I can be whole, again.