Trapped in with 4 walls

Im trapped again

with no way out

its face the parents or succeed in my death

i new what i wanted

and i couldnt get it with parents on my back

so i did what i could

i tried my hardest

but i did not provale

i showed my deppression

i showed the truth

i showed some of my hurt

and now im trapped again

i blame my friends

they dobbed me in

if it werent for them

my parents wouldnt know

if it werent for them

i wouldnt be here

right now

if it werent for them

i would be dead

what i have so desperatly wanted for so long now

but not im trapped

with no way out

i showed the truth

and got srapped up and shoved away

to be hiden from the day

to be hidden from the patients

to be hidden from the world

and to be hidden from my destiny

my death

im sitting here

alone right now

just staring at these 4 walls

theres nothing with me

just my clothes and a bed

so what am i going to do now?

i think i see it

off in the distance

my future screaming at me

telling me im running out of time

i need to hurry

or my time will be up

i need to die now

but i cant unless im out there

out in the world

and i cant be out there unless my parents are satisfied

satisfied that im not some crazy suicial person

but i am

i am suicidal

but i am not crazy

but then again

im here arent i?

stuck in this room

crying

left alone

with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company

i stare at the blue walls again

it looks like the ocean

i can see it now

the waves

the sun

a dolphin swimming free

i wish i were it

i wish i were free

to swim around with no worries

but im racing for it

i want it

and i will get it

no matter what it takes

i stand up

i walk toward the ocean

but something blocks me

a forcefield is stopping me from swimming with the dolphin

why cant i get through?

why wont you let me out?

why cant i be free?

im screaming now

then i realize

im in the blue room

there is no ocean

just me at the wall

i see it clearly now

a dent in it

i feel it now

blood dripping from my head

that was my force field

that was the wall

im dying now

its more painfull than i thought

i want to rush this

so i hit my head against the wall

i hit it again and again

i feel it more now

feel the pain

who knew death could hurt?

at least i hope it was death

it felt too painfull not to be

but when i felt the blood

i opened my eyes

not to see blue walls

but to see an ocean

see thunder

im swimming

maybe i am free?

or maybe i am crazy?

i blink again

but no change

im still in the ocean

i turn around to see that im at a beach

but standing on the shore i see someone

its a man

its my man

the one ive wanted for so long now

i smile

finaly im free

i run to him

i hug him

i kiss him

i love him

and i finaly have him

but suddenly hes gone

the beach os gone

the ocean gone

and im staring at blue walls again

whats wrong with me?

am i going crazy?

why am i alone?

then i remembered it

i remembered it all

im stuck here

alone

im not dead

i never will be

im trapped

on this earth i will never leave

its sad

and im ashamed

but on the bright side

when i get out of here

and eventualy i will

i can see my friends

see them and kill them

make them suffer for the pain they put me through

make them suffer for putting me here

make them suffer for me not being dead

its all there fault

but yet when i see them

i know they wont be scared of me

i know they will smile

why?

they think what they did was right

they think what they did was good

stopping me from death

but there wrong and they will pay

or maybe were all crazy?

you never know

or do we?