Now I promise
Now I swear that I'll be stronger
On my own
Without you always there to drag me
Into a downward spiral
I know that I can raise up to be
So much better then before
A real woman
At last free to be the real me
For the first time in my life
Tonight I'm staring over anew
Ignorance and intolerance!
No more standing by
Watching you smile as made others cry
Turning my stomach
Seeing how cruel and unaccepting you could be
Thought that I knew you better then that
But I guess I never did
Clear now for the first time
My eyes open to the fact that now from you forever
I must walk away
So damm shy before
Cos of how ugly you used to make me feel
Now I know better
Now for the first time ever
I have been forced to take a long, hard look at myself
In the mirror to see that finally I had it
So why should't I flaw it?
Leaving you way, way behind in the dust
Now you can just sit back, watch, and hunger
For what we could have been
Oh yes boy, if only you had treated me nicer
Your indifferences to me and all that I ever cared about!
Now it's my way or the highway mister!
No, no more of doing only what you want
When you want
Now I'm free
Happy and free
For the first time
I'm feeling whole and alive
In touch at last with the real woman within
Yes it's true
But smarter now too
Wiser without you
Your silly, stupid stereotypes!
Just cos I'm blond
It don't mean that I'm dumb
Just because you're a man
It don't mean a thing to me
It don't mean that you can always have the upper hand
Standing over me and shaking a mighty, angry fist
Bringing tears to my eyes and bruises to my skin
Hurting me so
Now that awful time is over and mine has arrived
Leaving on a jet plane tonight
Kissing you and all those bad, bad times goodbye
Free at long last to be the woman I always wanted to be
You were never that good a lover anyway and we both
Always bragging about things bigger then they really were
Your hate consuming and eating away constantly at my
Smothering me beneath a pillow of despair
Now I long only to be free to breathe
On my own for the first time and damm does it feel good!
Hate, fear, and peer pressure!
Forcing me to give in
Forcing me to stay
24/7 by the side of a man I never really could stand
Now I won't stand for it one minute longer
Packing my bags and walking away
Never ever to look back your way again
All my insecuritys and regrets!
Never to feel so damm low again
Buried underneath the fury of you and all your many bad
Coming home drunk to knock me around again
Just for fun
Ain't gonna happen ever again
Just wanted to let you know it and why
No more bullying!
No more excuses or lies told
Night after night after night
No more brokenhearted fits of tears and self loathing
This time I swear that it's true
Once and for all lover
I'm leaving you with this one last message that you can
take to heart
That is if you have one......
Forever more from my heart
Forever more from hurting me and making me cry
Again and again and again
Lover you are now offically and finally.......
2007 Ramona Thompson