It's about a young girl who lost her mom and she didn't actually lose her mom.She just lost the side of her mom , who used to be fun with her. She misses her alot.
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Submitted: Apr 20, 2008
Reads: 85
Comments: 27
Likes: 13
Mom I miss you so much
Sometimes I wonder where you are
It's been a hard and painful times
without you by my side.
Every day I wonder If you would laugh with me again.
But I still keep hoping you would
Sometimes I worry you will forget who I am
Studying without you has been a painful at times
I want you to have fun with you again.
Why did I become invisible to you
After he was born
I want to be your princess again
I would love to have your attention again .
You never have time to listen to me anymore
I want to complain about life, friends and school
Who would listen to me?
I want you to come back to me
I miss you so much.
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Comments:
its such a sensitive poem and it brings tears to my eyes. u'll sure grow up to be a fine writer. :-)
Posted: Apr 20, 2008
I believe art is based around interpretation, it is not the one who sets his pen to work that counts, but the one who opens his mind to that work. Which is why, to me, this symbolizes the difficult transition from childhood to adulthood. Where fun is replaced by responsibility and carefree days of school and play replaced by stresful days of work. It is a sad poem, however you look at it. And you did a fine job of expressing your emotions. I cannot wait to see where inspiration leads you.
Posted: Apr 20, 2008
This is a touching poem. It is sad when a child feels this way. Sometimes it is the result of the parents "pushing too hard" to make you be successful in life - wanting you to grow up too quickly. This is a poem of grief and sense of loss like any other. It is very observant and heartfelt. Very well done.
Posted: Apr 20, 2008
Great, poem.. In a way it seems as if this is going on with you and your mother, little clues in the poem give it away..but I love yer way of expressing it in such a poetic way.. keep up the Great work.
Posted: Apr 20, 2008
Why did I become invisible to you
After he was born
It's like she had a baby brother now with her mom??
So sad that her mom became so self absorbed...poor girl...poor child....what is her fault...brought tears in my eyes....
Voted " I like it," well done...
Posted: Apr 21, 2008
A very moving poem.
It does hurt when a mother seems to push a child away. The sense of lose is overwhelming.
Peace
Boneman
Posted: Apr 21, 2008
lekhma
(not registered user)
aww this poem is so sweet. I wonder who is it about? hmmmmmmmm
Posted: Apr 21, 2008
oh my. this hits too close to home. i almost turned away from it coz it reminded me so much of what i had experienced.. it's a heavy burden to keep things like this bottled inside and so i applaud you for being able to put it out like this. i never could.
Posted: Apr 23, 2008
Wow. This poem is sad. A child should never feel this way about his/her mother. It was a nicely expressed poem.
Posted: Apr 23, 2008
Raya:
Must be a common experience. For older siblings in a family. As younger brothers and sisters are born. To lose one's status as the only or youngest child. To a newborn. Many children don't have even that much love and nurturing. Gave it an "I Like It" vote.
With respect to Line 8:
"had been a painful times" would read and sound better if written: "has been painful! At times!". Just a thought. On my part.
Happy trails,
Ed Bradley.
Posted: Apr 23, 2008
B-E-A-UTIFUL!!!!!!!
Posted: Apr 24, 2008
aww, this is so sad, but such great emotion!!! WOw, i could really feel it!! it was so beautiful! Great job!
Posted: Apr 25, 2008
that is a really deep pome. it makes my want to cry *sniffle* *SNIFFLE*;}
Posted: Apr 26, 2008
Jennifer
(not registered user)
aww it makes me think about my mom. Nice poem. You are a great poet.
Posted: May 1, 2008
Sadd, it sounds like you. Especially, when you sad "after he was born". did your mom or the woman in the poem have a baby boy and forget about you or dat person? I got alot of questions but i will stop right here with dat. Like dis poem, give it an 14 out of 10, because im feeling like dis with my mom right now.
Posted: May 19, 2008
tell me about it, my mom had a little girl. her names markayla (i think) they never told me how to spell it.
Posted: May 20, 2008
forgive me for criticizing, i do see alot of potential in your work but i also see areas where you could touch it up a little.
Use a little more punctuation to give areas more emphasize e.g:
Why did I become invisible to you
After he was born
change it to:
Why did i become invisible to you...
After he was born.
Also you repeated the word again alot, vary the wording slightly so you get a better flow and an easier read and also, just go through your work and fix the couple of grammatical errors you have made....
But i do see alot of potential in it, so keep it up :)
Darkest Regards:
Sir Vampire
Posted: May 27, 2008
this is really good, im glad i took the time to read this. Its really touches people's hearts. It just made my day :D
Posted: May 31, 2008
WOW! I really really like this poem, and can relate! Except with me it's my dad! My parents got a divorce, he got married, now he has twins! This poemkind of sums up how i feel about him!
Posted: May 31, 2008
why cannot i vote it again.....
the feelings described here are so intense,....my heart wept for the little angel
Posted: May 31, 2008
i am not tring to be funny but at first i thought your mom left you until prizemoney told me sorry about that
Posted: Jun 1, 2008
Good work and touching poem. Makes me think of my mother, or rather the mother in my mind. Part of me now cannot remember a loving mother though I know she was and still is. Mothers and daughters, it seems, have such turbulent, intertwined relationships. As I got older and things became more intense, I felt mine replaced me with church groups and friends rather than try to break my teenage shell. Now I wonder if she felt this same thing toward me when I began to pull away from her when I met the boy who would become my husband.
Posted: Jun 5, 2008
This is sad-- but it deffinitely captures what children feel when their parent's attention has shifted away from them. I think that my mom, when she was younger, felt this way. I love it-- your poems are always easy to connect with, and have a very good message to each and every one:)!
See 'ya later,
Ghiradelli Girl.
Posted: Jun 7, 2008
That is very beautifull poem,sensitive,and sad.I liked the part when you said:i want to be your princess again,i would love to have your atention back.Its soo touchy.Really nice. :)
Posted: Jun 8, 2008
a very sensitive poem full of hurt. give your mom time. she may be struggling to cope with a new baby too. she does always love you. i promise you i speak from experience.
snow x
Posted: Jun 9, 2008
FOR REAL!!!!!!! After my little brother was born it was like I didn't exist anymore!Not that we try to be jealous or anything but we'd just like one minute in the spotlight. But you shouldn't really think that she's forgotten you...your mom...like any other parent...loves you and couldn't forget about you even if they gave her everything in the world...it's secound...no, first nature to her to love and cherish your existance and even if she doesn't show it YOU MOM LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT!
Posted: Jun 30, 2008
OOOH...LOL! I got carried away...LOL...Great poem! Sorta...kinda...forgot to read ur summary....sounds like you though but still LOL!
Posted: Jun 30, 2008
