(was having one of those days...)
On a cold winter’s morning in the middle of May,
Just after midnight when the sun lights up the day,
Young Billy Threesheds booted up in stocking feet
And ran like the devil as he ambled down his street.
Twitchy young Bill marched through his closed front door
And kicked off his boots as his shoes hit the floor.
He raced up the stairs of their detached bungalow
To his bedroom at the back that looked down over the road.
Billy was a boy with a fast growing chest
That worried him a lot but he couldn’t care less
Cos his Mam once blurted out with her mouth firmly shut,
That his Dad would use her girdle to push out his growing gut.
Early on a Wednesday as the sun began to set,
Carefree young Bill continued desperately to fret
About the girl next door who lived across the road
As she hollered and waved in her silent morse code.
You see Jenny McTavish much preferred the name of John,
She grew her golden hair short and before much too long
Had discovered to her shock that when she stood up for a winkle,
That Bill and her had much in common as she seemed to have a dinkle!
Now Bill thought long and hard for a second or three,
As he sat upon the loo waiting for himself to wee,
That if Jenny stands up while he’s sitting down,
Cripes, I’m a girl! he thought, as his brow smiled a frown.
Thirty years later in a lifetime now long gone,
Bill became Betty and Jenny’s now a John,
Forever spent together and separated by miles
They lived their lives apart always by each other’s side.
Their love ran as deep as a river in a drought,
As the still rapids raged they knew beyond any doubt
That in Jenny’s shrinking tummy grew the key to love and laughter,
So begins this tale of Betty and John and their happy ever after.