Ctrl - Alt - Delete
Tell the truth, you said. Never tell me a lie.
So I did as you asked and your light nearly died.
So from then on I lied if you asked for the truth,
Am I ugly and fat - am I rude and aloof?
Your questions unfair as I stammered afraid,
Another wrong answer, another tirade
Of violent abuse aimed solely at me
From your mine of self loathing, a vile purgatory.
*
So I’d tell the truth and see your fading smile
And then backtrack to a lie just to keep you alive.
You bestowed me a power to turn your troubled world dark,
Beneath the cracked eggshells your path always black.
*
I’d bend and twist truths at your subconscious request,
But the sowed seeds of doom would scatter and fester
In your damaged mind while I’d be left shivering
Alone on the outside with my psyche withering
With the scars of your life to love and to cherish,
My presence defined - I will not let you perish.
*
Feeding you your lies went against my honest grain,
But it was all I could do to help you refrain
From sinking beneath your rapid white water,
A life without you is all I ever thought of.
Yet I remained your pawn in the mate I’d never win,
How could I run away and let you do yourself in?
*
To hide you from truth wasn’t just my decision,
Our scalpel of lies caused the first deep incision.
Lies to hide your past and lies to protect
You from yourself and so no one would suspect
That it was you and not me that repulsed you the most,
The uncomfortable truth of a little girl lost.
*
So it’s over, it’s gone - should I have ever let you in?
Would someone please restore me to my factory setting.
Your turbulence and torment didn’t bring my defeat,
All I ever needed was Control Alt Delete.
****
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