Looking For Me

Looking For Me.

I’m looking for me perpetually

As I pound the paths and part the grass.

I’m snared in my trap beyond full circle,

Deep in a spiral of nostalgia so viral,

As I continue and fail in my search for me.

I’m looking for me continually

As I stroll the dunes and stroke the pines.

I stand where I stood, I jump where I jumped,

I climb where I climbed and all of the time

All I want to find is me.

I’m looking for me so desperately

As I sit and I write with my pores fully open

To try and absorb my past that is woven

So deep in the present, my mood isn’t pleasant

As I choose another path to look for me.

I’m looking for me and it’s frightening me,

That the harder I look and the more that I see

That reminds me of me but the me that eludes me and I hope to find

Is buried deep within my troubled mind

As onward I grind I’m frantic to find … me.

I’m looking for me and it’s frustrating me

That the village I love is so horribly cruel

To hide me from me, I’m a dreamer, a fool.

A nostalgia peddler treading water in a pool

Of stationary fish in which my only wish is to find me.

I’m looking for me and I want you to see

That this twee little rhyme isn’t helping me.

It’s just killing time, my present feels like a mime,

As I continue cynically to hunt for me.

I’m looking for me and it’s boring me.

This has long since ceased to entertain me.

The past is a thread that leaves my present scared,

And I’ve become overwhelmed at the stupidity

And futility of looking for me.

Looking for me used to strengthen me.

But all it does now is worry me.

An excuse for a walk and a chat with myself.

An unhealthy fascination, a self indulgent delve

Back into a life and an attempt to weld

The present to the past, oh how very me

To squander my time looking for me.

*****