You Broke Me.

We were together a matter of months, but

they were the best of my life. You were the

first person to really look at me and see

something other than what was on the surface.

I got caught up in the headiness of it all,

thought I was in love with you, and then you

broke up with me. The first boy to dump me

and the first to break me - that was you.

You were everything I needed at the time, the

person who brought me strength and who

taught me that there was something in life

other than a bleak, depressing future.

Nowadays, as I sit and look at you and your

girlfriend, jealousy overwhelms me. You are

happy with her, and I'm happy for you, but you

have something I'll never have.

You have love, you have sex, you have a "normal"

relationship. I just have jealousy, bitterness, sorrow

and an ongoing gut feeling that all my marriage will

do is make me look like a desperate woman.

I want to show you that I'm worthy of love, that I am a

good person and that you were wrong to dump me the

way you did and to insult me for weeks afterwards. I want

you to see the woman that you shouldn't have dumped.

I want you to feel jealous of me, to look at my relationship

and think "Wow, I wish I had that" like I've done for the last

year. I want you to feel the way I've felt for so long, and I want

you to feel as bitter as I have, as angry as I have, and as lost as me.

I loved you. There, I admit it. I loved you and trusted you,

and you broke me. You broke my spirit, you broke my trust

and you made me think men just wanted me to break my 

heart. How could you do that to me?

Once upon a time, I loved you and I thought you loved me.

Then you walked away, leaving me feeling sick and angry,

and found yourself the perfect relationship. I'm happy for you,

but I wish I could go back in time and make it all end differently.

You broke me.