1,000,000 People

Random First Lines: Take me from a world,that is so unkind.This damned place,where everyone can see,yet everyone is... : Poetry » Read

Poem By: saratopia
Poetry

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Submitted: Jun 14, 2008 Reads: 23 Comments: 5 Likes: 3

1,000,000 People

Another winter day,

Passes by my way,

I miss you.

Another Summer day,

Comes by my way,

I want you.

My words,

May mean nothing.

But Another day passes,

When I'm not with you.

1,000,000 new faces,

1,000,000 new voices,

1,000,000 new places,

1,000,000 people,

That aren't you.

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Comments:

This is a very good and sad poems. It's short but it really gets its emotions across. Using numbers instead of writing it out really enhances the number of things that you see that aren't what you wish to see. However, the only problem was that I wasn't quite sure how to read it in my head, since reading "One million people" sounds kind of weird. My suggestion is to make it "Ten thousand" or "10,000"? It would dim the numbers quite a bit but make it easier on the tongue when reading. I guess it's really a matter of opinion :)

Overall it was a very good poem! Keep up the good work.

Posted: Jun 14, 2008

Author Comment:

thx. I know it was short, but It got my emotions out so ya. I like " 1,000,000" But I think " 1,000" would be better lol.

OHSHCKaori

I like the one million, it expresses how many people aren't him/her *depending on the readers interpretation*
Great job. I like it. Definitely

~Kaori

Posted: Jun 15, 2008