Sunshine. 7/14/08
I see the rays of light
Cascading down to earth.
The sunshine peaking through the clouds.
Making it beautiful.
It’s so beautiful, in fact,
That I want to rip them down.
I want to paint the sky grey,
And then scream until tears fall.
Then it will start raining,
The clouds will start bleeding.
Just like my heart.
Do you know what I mean?
It’s so unfair.
How they shine down happily.
Making the most beautiful scene.
I hate it. So much.
How they sing for the ones who care.
The ones who are happy.
The People who despise
Those like me.
Can’t I get a little rain?
Just enough to soak my hopes.
Of becoming one of them.
I don’t want to change.
I just want to fit in.
With the people that I want.
But I’m not accepted by them
My looks don’t support my feelings.
Why won’t they though?
I can be beautiful just like them.
I just need a little work.
Enough to make me match my feelings.
Do you understand?
I can change.
I want to change.
But there are things that pin me down.
And I don’t change.
Because of them.
To them, I’m someone else.
They don’t know the real me.
They’d never talk to me again
And because of that,
I don’t change.
I’m too nice to ruin the person they trust.
I don't want to scare them.
So I stay who I am now.
Even though I'm not happy.
And I want to rip the world apart.
It's amazing how such a simple thing
Like the beauty of nature
A wonderful scene
Can make me want to scream.
want to tear it down.
Stomp on it breifly
Shed some tears.
And walk away.
Leaving the grey sky behind me.
To mourn over the loss.
To let the tears fall.
And soak everyone around me.
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