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An attempt at poetry... View table of contents...
Submitted: Jun 30, 2008 Reads: 69 Comments: 6 Likes: 7
The day was humid, it was sticky and hot
We needed relief, the skies opened up
Sweet smell of rain, the wind started blowing
The sky gave some warning
Air was charge you could feel it
Then it struck
It flashes, it cracked, it rumble
© Copyright 2008Ted Quinn
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Ted, I see poetry has got a hold you! This was a great poem, nice words (loved the last line) and some imagery too. Wait for it, soon you will have the analysts commenting, and I think that's the best part about poetry, and that's when you will want to write more and more. ;) Great job! ~ Nixie
Posted: Jul 1, 2008
Ted you are certainly getting there with your attempts! You have painted a picture in words here, described the atmosphere as you saw it and then concludes well and satisyingly for the reader with the storm. Do you think you would be brave enough to ask Tarot and/or Controverse to critique it?
Keep writing!
Posted: Jul 1, 2008
Wow. Ted.
Gosh, golly.
I literally felt the crackle in the air when I read this.
Wonder what made you write about Lightning... The electric charge, the flash of light in the darkness...
I still get a bit unsettled during a good storm, although it does seem to help me sleep.
MA
Posted: Jul 1, 2008
short and sweet, but captures it perfectly
i like it
:]
Posted: Jul 4, 2008
A visual poem!
Posted: Jul 5, 2008
A BEAUTIFUL poem!! Like Charlotte.....very visual!
Very creative, and felt it was beautiful. I like that word "BEAUTIFUL".....BUT IT is beautiful. Enjoyed reading!
Posted: Jul 12, 2008
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