Then I Changed

with the ocean beneath my feet,
i wanted to be there
dying, drowning,
swimming in the ocean of my thoughts.

then i changed

i felt like i could walk
on the seabed
amongst the dolphins
as they kill me.

then i changed

i wanted the sharks to kill me,
so they could feed on my blood
and spread it through the sea

then i changed

swimming in the ocean of my thoughts
wanting to drown and see my blood
replace the ink from the squids
as they try to survive the attacks
from the tiny algae trying to cling on
i don't want a sky of stars
i want a bed of starfish

then i changed

i took my medication
everything became normal
on one level
i hate it
but i have to put up with it