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The thought which took my nights

Poem By: sitting ponderer
Poetry


This one is really classic. I wrote it a long time ago. This is just a proof of what are the things i have been through through out my life :p Hope you guys like it. It's definitely not my best poem; just described my feeling of that particular day. Comments please. View table of contents...

 

Submitted: Sep 17, 2008    Reads: 42    Comments: 3    Likes: 2   


 

I was about to sleep,

And enter my sweet dreams,

When a shock of death came to me,

What if it would be me?

 

Looking back to ages,

Not even one could escape it,

50, 60 or they even reach 100

But the angel of death then just cages.

 

How would it feel to enclose in mud,

With a white shroud covering the whole me,

When I could listen to people’s cry,

But they wouldn’t be able to listen to me.

 

Alas! That realization took my heart,

I finally became good on my part,

And be in a full serenity all the time,

Oh people, don’t lose this precious time.

 

 

 

 


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Comments:

It's an emotional and very moving poem. My only negative comment is on the choice of a couple of words and on the structure of them. But that's very minor. The last 2 lines were especially good. Well done. Voted I like it!

Posted: Sep 20, 2008

Author Comment:

It was very basic. I wouldn't call it my best poem; just something i felt that day. Thanks for your comment and rating ! :D

This is interesting...it reminds me of Iron Maiden's song "I only dream in black and white"...not sure why...just sounds cool, like it belongs together

Posted: Sep 21, 2008

Author Comment:

Well I haven't ever tried that song; Thanks for your comment. It was probably my simplest of all poems :p

intriguing
the third paragraph has very marvelous imagery

Posted: Oct 11, 2008



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