Submitted: Aug 14, 2008
Reads: 101
Comments: 10
Likes: 5
There's an invisible wall in between...
When i see from this side,everything is so colorful...
But when i see from the other side, nothing is clear.
Nothing is right.
Nothing is what i wanted and expected.
Nothing is bright and colorful.
It's all foggy.
It's all black and white.
It's all dark.
As if...there was a huge thunderstorm and it took away everything...and everyone.
I feel a tightness in my throat and i could feel the sting in my eyes.
I open my mouth and am trying to say something...
But no one is hearing me.
Everyone's busy.
Everyone's on their own.
Everyone's running here and there.
But...
I seem to be the only one,who is not moving...standing at one place.
And then I realized...
There's no time!
There's no time for anything!
No time for love!
No time for breath!
No time for a smile!
No time for anyone!
And now...
I am left behind.
I am alone!
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Comments:
This is indeed poetry, well done.
If I might suggest one thing.. Line 10, starting with 'As if' doesn't seem to fit and breaks the flow of the poem, in my humble opinion.
I hope you put more of your work up. - D.Azir
Posted: Aug 16, 2008
hi! ss. i can identify with part of this poem. v all r in a race to reach our destinations at our pace. some r like rabbits. some r like turtles. lead ur life ur way and u'll find it is more satisfying, never mind being alone. don't be sad. life is like that. cheers. lol. ;-)
Posted: Aug 17, 2008
Very well written. The sounds of loneliness echo in your use of the words 'no time' and 'nothing'. Keep it up.
Posted: Aug 21, 2008
Ao much have managed to come out from this piece. You expressed the emotions very well, I love it....mainly coz I feel I have been there so many times. I like it.
Posted: Aug 27, 2008
AND one day we realise that life is finished...
I am going through this phase and read this one 3 times...still wanted to read more...had to go due to lack of time...
this is superb if only u could read my eyes...filled with tears...
we all r alone and in some way or other always alone in the midst of a room full of people too...i feel that strongly here in a foreign land...instead of being thrilled, i am sad and lonely just as the girl or woman in this poem...as if you r reading my turmoil...
Posted: Aug 30, 2008
Dear friend ,
You have hit the nail on the head .Here everybody is in the rat race to emerge as " Baadshah " in the world devoid of reality !!
Yours ,
ARVIND K.PANDEY(MUNNA)
Posted: Sep 12, 2008
Beautiful... Actually about 2 years back i had appendectomy operation, and I felt EXACTLY the same as you mentioned in your poem after the anesthetist gave me anesthesia :p I am not joking, seriously... Anyways, beautiful imagery in the poem. Great job.
Posted: Sep 13, 2008
I think this is my favorite of your work. The flow and structure are... surreal, incredible. Brilliant piece.
Posted: Sep 23, 2008
i love it. so many people can relate, but at the same time, its your own feelings.
Posted: Sep 26, 2008
At least there was tiem for you to write this poem and for me to comment. Well portrayed and defined. Good work, keep it up.
Posted: Sep 29, 2008
