RUINED DREAM OF A DREAM
I. “DEATH MARCH FOR THE DREAM BEGINS”
The lie finally dies
The truth finally opens her eyes
Wiping the tears of endlessly virulence my soul cries
I watch my hopes burning along with all my tries
To find way to get rid of that thorny pain that ties
Tears
Glassy blood-red eyes
Silence
For the very first time Iˋm feeling that everything is lost
That is all my fantasiesˋ cost
I can see my only truly dream ruining apart
Ruining all over my belief I would be spared from realityˋs dart
Before playing I am ready to lose this game
Crestfallen and defeated I do accept the blame
I am standing so proud though I know nothing will be the same
Tearing facts surrounding all fame
Keeping choking me with their poison making me lame
I have no strength even to cry
For to cry means to give up
+
Life is not a fairytale
Nor happiness for sale
But everlasting fight
Between dark and light
Devouring pain
Wounds-made disdain
I close my eyes but cannot escape
Grief and anguish are still there my soul to rape
To be happy I could not venture
Captured by sadness a ray of joy is an adventure
Into future I do not have, only fears
For time kills me, leaves not trails, sears
The grave of my endeavour to dream stays unprayed
Deep in the will onto path of reality strayed
Wordless I stay
For all sins I pay
I look and donˋt see the way
Following the panting ray
I sleep no more calm in rest
With so many worries Iˋve been prest
The reek of my decaying dream unreal
Holding me weak with nothing to conceal
The cold wind of confrontation
Brings to me the new temptation
Sweet delusion ends
To disappointment bends
Lie offends
From the tears and sorrow-the best friends
II. “I AM LETTING YOU GO”
I am watching you dying
Slowly fading and lying
Without crying
I would not suffer any longer
All those cuts made me stronger
I would not make even a move
You had your time to prove
Time buries, time mourns, time unfolds
The deepest feelings my empty heart holds
Love is becoming but a dead letter on paper
Leaving only sorrow to be its lifelong raper
Once you were a dream with the name
Now nameless burning a fire of the fame
Bit by bit my senses for you are turning pale
Brought away by the wild dolourˋs gale
Once you were a star, now you fall
Shrouded in my bleeding heartˋs pall
I am ready to get over you and forget
I am letting you go, there is no regret
III. “I DO LOVE THEE STILL”
Maybe it is not just our time
Iˋll be there, waiting makes not a crime
The show is done, take a bow, and end your mime
The curtains close with the cold autumn mornˋs rime
My heart is a withered bloom
Slumbering frozen in eternal gloom
Longing for your loom
Sad no more
No more
No
More
Dream, you die on realityˋs wire
Bleeding on my Wishwall you expire
Untold you stay crowned by desire
Secretly reigning in the last aspire
I am a book unread with the covers torn
Rotting in the bookshelf cobwebby and lorn
Nameless dead love stays unborn
–Storytime into Oblivion worn
Heartˋs disobedience
Sepulchres first loveˋs innocence
Leaving pain as only reminiscence
Remorse, virginityˋs evanescence
IV. “ALL MY DEAD LOVES”
Iˋve always needed so little
To make warm this heart brittle
Tarnished heartstrings weak
Decaying psyche, the freak
Each one so dear was held
Each one was dumb when I yellˋd
Scarred with every love heart is torn
Drank with the sweet realityˋs scorn
For each one the stilly candle is burning
For each one to dead I am turning
Wakeful nights and the countless tears
Standing on my cheek as the end nears
The immense vastness inside keeps me insane
Each one of them was my soulˋs bane
Running deep beneath my core, my fane
Making them past, all memories wane
V. “WITHERED LOVE FLOWERˋS SOUL”
Today I saw the flower that, as they say, has had the flower like him himself.
Grows in the same garden where my sick roots grow too.
Love is a rose with the thorns of unrequitedness
who bleeds more and more from the wound deeper and deeper
with the tears bitterer and bitterer.
My hope to pick a rose is drowning deep...
frozen and breathless leaving me in the agony of life.
Unrequitedness my crestfallen soul.
No dayspring for us.
No sun to make a rose bloom...
Only rotting petals tossed by the gale of derision
deep into murkiness of pain eternal.
My time is drawing near, I do feel.
The grave is only I shall gift unto thee in the end.
When you come to bring me a rose black, know, there lies the body
separated from the withered soul bleeding its Sick Flower.
For ever and aye.
Fare thee well, may my wrongs remain no chained by thy memories
for there is no good left.
Autumn has come for me.
VI. “OCTOBERˋS POEM”
The sombre reflection shades my path
As the grey fields waits for the rain, their bath
Wandering leaves soaring ˊfore my feet
Dancing with the cold wind Autumn to greet
I am watching into distance....motionless and lost
Roaming through my own thoughts in mist and frost
Weary birds preparing to fly away once more
Leaving me alone with this love-made open sore
Fall rain, heavily, fall
Magnify the melancholyˋs ball
Lay to rest all my pain
Help me my joy to regain
Fall love, still, fall
Rest so warm in the gall
Absent sorrow from my soul
Make clean all thatˋs foul
Put me out of sight
Fly high across the meads of light
Soul-bell for me knells
My final farewell to thee tells
Fall rain, have mercy, fall
Heart my mournersˋ call
Shroud me with the windˋs pall
Fall rain, have mercy, fall
The sullen sky pours out its weariness
Onto fields of my heart withered by dreariness
I do not see a way out
I will fail this bout
Everything, everyone I have ever adored
Fading to memories deep inside me pored
The poison of Oblivion seeps, runs to bone
Again I am a merely child all ˊlone
In the oceans of never-ending sadness I am drowned
With the beautifulness of Darkˋs diamond I am crowned
For all my lifetime Iˋve never felt so broken
All sorrows of this macrocosm have been woken
Fall rain, heavily, fall
Magnify the melancholyˋs ball
Lay to rest all my pain
Help me my joy to regain
Fall love, still, fall
Rest so warm in the gall
Absent sorrow from my soul
Make clean all thatˋs foul
Put me out of sight
Fly high across the meads of light
Soul-bell for me knells
My final farewell to thee tells
Fall rain, have mercy, fall
Heart my mournersˋ call
Shroud me with the windˋs pall
Fall rain, have mercy, fall
“To die would mean to make just more pain than ever before...”
VII. “IT WAS SO MAGIC”
All sincerely magic
Prefers to be tragic
Holding in its sleeve a card
Pain is a cunning bard
It was so magic
Life is not a fairytale
Nor a happy end for sale
But everlasting fight
Between dark and light
Devouring pain
Wounds-made disdain
I close my eyes but cannot escape
Grief and anguish are still there my soul to rape
To be happy I could not venture
Captured by sadness a ray of joy is an adventure
Into future I do not have, only fears
For time kills me, leaves not trails, sears
The grave of my endeavour to dream stays unprayed
Deep in the will onto path of reality strayed
It was so magic
All fantasy ends
All excitement rends
From grievance fends
So precious moments tends
If I had a chance I would repeat all it again
No remorse but wonderful scars and pain
All the same
End is of the game
Face the blame
Of heart lame
Hero-worshipper
+
Death is the journey
Birth is the final station
Hope is an imperfect creation
Construing the most twisted consideration
Sick inspiration
Sodomitesˋ contemplation
Sinking but I stay motionless
Suffering I hold emotionless
It was so magic
It was so...
Magic
I fall asleep...
I can see the vast stage...millions of people...the most beautiful lights ever...
I can see the seat, free....awaiting for me to sit
I sit.
The strange sound drains my ears.
Itˋs the curtain...raising
ALL SPLENDOUR OF IMAGINATION IS FINALLY SET FREE
VIII. “THE CIRCUS”
Entire life, every dream, every hope is a circus
Every day is a new act you never know what is going to turn out from
“Blade Box”
No air
Ye end is fair
Shout, no voice
Knives rejoice
None hears
Thy hope wears
Tear so dear
Death is dawning near
No fears
Light disappears
Whispers freeze
With wordsˋ breeze
Thou art all alone
Feel the blade bussing thy bone
Blood squares, blood sheds
Thy soul in Oblivion beds
Reality-maker of the twisted trick
Predestinated horror to pick
The applaud echoes, soul flies
Gazers feats over body that lies
Blade Box chains thy life
The memory with each knife
Now lay to rest
Sleepˋs everlasting guest
Tragedy joy makes
Desire for dark awakes
Throw down the mask
End thy Dream-obeyed task
Locked eˋermore
In the coffin arcane lore
Thy grave is this night
This twisted show sight
Ever-lights
Dissolve all frights
Act II. “Piano”
“...
Attention ladies and gentlemen!
Look at this boy lying on the piano!
Heˋs going to be the sacrifice for my best act so far!
Look at the gift of Night Herself
So it goes like this:
Each finger in his arm is fixed by the steel hook to each pianoˋs string.
The left arm fingers are fixed to the white keys strings,
and the right arm ones are fixed to the black ones
Whenever the player (One-eyed Clown Demon)
plays a note and strikes a string inside the wooden case,
each hook rises up and rips a part of his finger-flesh.
And so this Magnificent Play goes and goes on...
Ladies and gentlemen!
Unbind your darkest fantasies and the most twisted imagination!
Witness the most pompous and majestic Show EVER!
Pianoplayer, start to play thy Dark Perversion Etude!
The Sacrifice is impatient to feel the truly essence of the sickest fancies.
Muhahahahaah!
...”
Play that note of my desperation
Drive me mad with pain, thy sweet inspiration
Tear apart this motionless raped flesh
Smell it reeking of blood so fresh
Dark Perversion Etude never-ending
Echoes the arena while the nails are rending
Hear the bones singing
Breaking one by one ringing
Twisted circus tent is yelling
Sweat, tears and blood are welling
Crucified to piano black
I hear that howling pack
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