IS IT ENOUGH
Is it enough to just tell you over the phone
how much I love you, instead of to your face?
Is it enough to tell myself
that me leaving was a good thing for you?
Was leaving worth the tears and the sorrow
after me raising you for 3 of your 5 years?
Was leaving worth not getting to
see you off on your first official day of school?
Would I go back to you and mother,
even though I was tortured constantly everyday?
Would I go back to the starvation and neglect,
just to protect you from what happened to me?
Is it enough?
No. It is not, nor will it ever be.
Was it worth it?
No. It was not.
Would I go back?
You bet your ass I would.
If it meant seeing you everyday,
Singing you to sleep every night,
Telling you how much I love you to your face,
Being your true big sister again;
I would endure the starvation,
the beating, the neglect,
Just to see your beautiful face,
and to have you annoy me constantly.
Because that is how much I love you, Bambam.
An I am not going to do to you
what our big brother did to me
when I was little.