My life couldn’t have begun without you,
To praise you,the words in this world are few.
Throughout my life, you are the world to me,
Irrespective of how old and wise I may be.
You have done so much for my care,
And your love and affection which none but I share.
I cannot repay to you, not even a part of it,
Atleast not in this birth, I bet.
The world of your love is wonderful,
Without which my life would be dreadful.
I pray to god, in any birth,you always should be my mother,
So that I can die without any bother.
Dear subbu,
Why did you invited me to comment on your work?
Apparently you also asked many others to comment. In response to some helpful criticism, you said that you wrote these three poems when you were much younger. I guess there's hope for you as a writer now then. Let's see something new, please.
If you want some honest constructive criticism, so that you can improve your writing, I'd be glad to be of service. However, if you want to add to your fan club; or if you are looking to climb up the Top 20 rankings; forget about me.
This one is kinda cute. In the summary you say that your mother is your god; and yet you pray to god in the poem. Can you reconcile this seeming contradiction for me?
Yours truly,
craaig
Posted: Jul 7, 2008
D'awh:), I like poems that can speak for many people. I could print this poem out for my mom for Mother's day. lol^__^! And say, "Mommy, this is how I feel about you."
I think that it would be cool if we could all just die, and not worry about our next life because we will always have the same mom. That would be totally awesome^_^.
Nice poem Subbu:), and lot's of special chocolate to you,
Ghiradelli Girl.
Posted: Jul 9, 2008
Hi subbu. Sorry id i seemed negative in my last comment. In looking back i see that i was. This poem is obvoisly a heartfelt expression of undying love.
This is an apology, not an excuse, but i feel that i need to explain my comment more clearly. It's just that i read all of your poems, as you had asked. Then I read the comments and your replies to them. I definitely could be wrong, but it seemed to me that any comment that was even mildly critical or offered some constructive criticism was met with an excuse rather than a thank you. You appeared to be saving any gratitude for those who said that they liked your work without criticism. And, even then, you weren't responding to many of our comments. But then who am I to judge. We can all play this computer game differently. I guess it depends on what you want to get from your participation here. Or what you want to give.
It used to be that, if one wanted more readership, one read and commented on others' work. Now, it seems, a mass appeal, putting requests for reading and comments on other members' Booksie page's, is the way that some of us increase our profile. Easier, I suppose, but a little bit impersonal for me -- a bit like SPAM really.
Thanks for clearing up that God contradiction for me. Being a Westerner and beleiving in one God, I hadn't considered that explanation.
Again i apologise. I did not mean to cause offense or create any ill will. I look forward to reading any new writing of yours. What are you waiting for?
Posted: Jul 10, 2008
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