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A poem about how I felt when I was cutting

Submitted:Mar 11, 2012    Reads: 46    Comments: 10    Likes: 8   

I am going to do it yet again

I know I shall be punished

but I cannot stop

The knife, lightly brushing the skin

Back and forth, up and down

A bloody spiderweb appears

Tears come to my eyes

not tears of sadness

but of anger

I need release

I grasp it,

the knife,

prepare for contact

Then the plunge

It goes deeper and deeper

Right into the depths of my soul

It lingers, for a moment

sucking out all of the darkness inside

I sigh with relief

It bleeds

but I dare not bandage the wounds

For I no longer care

No care for life

For unforgiving family, for so-called friends

For the lies, the decpetion, the trickery

Nothing is left

I curl up under the covers,

still bleeding,

fall into a deep slumber

The next day, I look

What have I done?

The pain is gone, leaving only scars behind

Everlasting memories

of what happened there

A permanent solution to a temporary problem

So I vow

There will be no more cutting

No matter the grief, the anger, the sorrow

But is it that easy?

The answer is no

But I am aware of the consequences

So I make a plan

I will hold no one close

That way they can't hurt me

and more importantly, I can't hurt them

"You always hurt the ones you love"

but what if

there is no one loved?


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