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Dreamer's Love

By: Tatia Shurgaia

Page 1, It\'s not that you don\'t love a person, it\'s whether you can love the person and let yourself be happy.

I don't know why I'm always the one hurting you,

Always the one hidding things,

Always the one making excuses,

Always the one running away.

Maybe it's time you understood,

We will never be together.

There will be no love in the air,

Or any laughter and joy from being together,

There will be no such things.

These things that creep deep into you and hold your heart down like a boulder,

Making these things hard to lift or get rid of.

See, love can blind us,

And I guess I'm the only one immune to it,

I didn't hurt you,

I don't know why I have to be told that I'm the one that hurt you.

Truth is that you allowed yourself to fall, to get attached, to open up,

And that, my love is exactly what hurt you, but not me.

How can you blame me for this pain when I told you I didn't want any of this.

I'm not ready to love,

I'm not ready to let myself go,

I'm not ready to give you the key to my heart,

I'm not ready to committ,

I'm not ready to make you happy because deep down,

How can I make you happy when I'm trying to help myself lead the way out of the dark,

And tell myself it's time to fight my demons, my insecurities, my past.

I didn't want any of this but you left me with no choice.

You were pretending that we had something,

But it was in fact nothing.

It was you dreaming and me following.

Why I followed is something I will never know.

No, it wasn't love or anything like that,

I just wanted to give in but I couldn't let myself.

If you could only see what goes on inside me everyday,

You would runaway.

My heart is my home,

And every home has the good,

Then they have the bad that will never will revealed.

There are secrets that I will take to the grave with me,

And those that I will lock and throw away the key.

And then those that will torture me till death do us apart.

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