So many times, I said that I loved you.
So many times, I said that I cared.
So many times, I said that I felt your pain.
So many times, I didn't really mean it.
So many times, I just said it to say it.
But in all of those times, I was so dumb(young).
I only half knew what was going on.
I knew our mother tried to kill me.
But I did not know our father raped you.
I knew of my terrible relationship with mother.
But I did not know of your terrible relationship with father.
I knew that everyday, I came home
Expecting the usual abuse from mother.
But I did not know that everyday, you came home
Expecting the usual sexual abuse from father.
And so, since I didn't completely feel your pain.
Since I didn't completely love you or care about you.
That means that I lied to you.
I should've realized all the times
That you quivered when he came near you.
That you wanted to go to my baseball practice with me,
But he made you stay home with him.
All the times he said he nneded your help in the basement,
He just wanted to rape you.
If only I wouldn't have been stupid enough
To not realize these obvious signs.
I could've caught him.
I could've checked on you,
But no, I thought everything was alright.
You tried to kill him because of me.
If it weren't for my stupid small decisions
We probably wouldn't have gone
To that Psycho Hospital and then Gibault.
And so I say to you,
For eveything that happened to you.
I'm sorry. I truly love you and care about you.
And I truly feel your pain.
I'm sorry for all of your scars.
Physically and mentally.
I am truly
Sorry.
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